For many people, Christmas Day is a time to let the joy and cheer of the holiday crowd out any thoughts of war, destruction, death and soldiers fighting overseas.

But some local families don’t have that luxury.

Here are four stories of families who are facing the reality of war on a deeply personal level this Christmas. Three families have loved ones who are deployed in the Middle East. Another knows their daughter, and sister, will be sent away soon.

They know they can’t bring loved ones home for Christmas and ask only that their soldiers are recognized for their sacrifices.

Elizabeth Peters

Elizabeth “TJ” Peters used to be a “Miss Prissy,” said her mother, Elizabeth Kuhstoss. Now a captain in the Air Force, Peters is living in a tent, flying all over the world and rarely enjoys a vacation. It’s completely different, there’s no luxury whatsoever, Kuhstoss said.

“I never imagined in my life that she would be where she is now,” Kuhstoss said. “I am a very proud mom.”

Peters is a flight nurse with the Air Force and is deployed in Kandahar, Afghanistan. She takes care of wounded and sick soldiers as they are flown from Afghanistan to hospitals around the world.

Now that Peters is in her fifth year of military service, Kuhstoss said she is accustomed to missing her daughter during holidays.

It’s harder this year, though, knowing she’s in such a dangerous place, Kuhstoss said.

When she hears stories of suicide bombers, she said she can’t help but wonder if her daughter is safe.

“If I can hear from her once a week that’s like a blessing, to know she’s OK,” she said. “It’s better to hear something than nothing when she’s in a place like that.”

Tyler Saunders

When her son Tyler calls, Linn Saunders’ fingers shake so badly with excitement she can barely answer the phone.

A member of the U.S. Army Special Forces in the Middle East, Tyler is on his fourth deployment in three years.

But the feeling is the same every time he calls, she said.

Linn and her husband, Dwight Saunders, the pastor at River Church, adopted Tyler from South Korea when he was 4 months old.

When he was 8, Linn said, Tyler told her that someday he wanted to join the military as a way to thank his country. He never wavered on that goal and joined the military in 2006.

This is Tyler’s second Christmas away on deployment.

He asked only for an ugly Christmas sweater this year, Linn Saunders said. So they bought a sweater and strung big, gaudy lights around it. His buddies asked their families for the same thing, and they all intend to wear the sweaters today.

The Saunderses know only vaguely what Tyler does on assignment, or the danger he faces.

Worry keeps them up at night, praying.

If they hear about a helicopter going down, Linn Saunders said, they can’t help but wonder if Tyler was onboard. If a strange car drives into the driveway, they instinctively assume the worst.

“People have said each deployment gets easier, but it doesn’t,” Dwight Saunders said. “It gets harder, it’s more somber.”

All any parent wants for Christmas is for their child to be safe, Dwight Saunders said. But he knows it’s a gift that is out of his hands.

“He’s the hero of our family,” he said. “I have a few heroes, and he’s one of them.”

Serenity Nelson

Carol Cardwell already knows what she won’t be thinking about this Christmas.

As she sits near the Christmas tree with her family, Cardwell said she’s determined not to think about the moment in February when her daughter, Serenity Nelson, will be deployed to Iraq for the second time.

Nelson, a captain in the U.S. Army, also spent last Christmas serving in the war-torn country. Her deployment will continue through next Christmas.

“This Christmas will be wonderful and I won’t think about next year,” Cardwell said. “I’ve raised my kids to think hard and know the consequences of their actions. Worrying won’t solve anything.”

Even so, her eyes brim with tears when she thinks about the danger that Nelson will return to in a few months.

Before her daughter is deployed again, Cardwell plans to take a new family portrait.

Nelson has the most Christmas cheer in the family, said her sister Tiffany Aukerman, so the holiday without her is much different.

“We had traditions growing up, but they just aren’t the same when one person leaves,” she said.

Nelson said being deployed is like living in a completely different world, and the holidays are no different.

“You miss being there, the little nuances of Christmas, seeing people’s face light up, the environment of everything around you,” she said. “You miss being home.”

For soldiers, she said, the holidays are just another reminder of how far away they are from family.

Aaron Halstead

Some days are rougher than others for 3-year-old Derek, said local mother Jessica Halstead. On the bad days, he awakens asking for his dad and bursts into tears when Halstead gives her son the same answer as always: Daddy is away being a hero, trying to make world a better place.

Derek’s father, Spc. Aaron Halstead, is a military police officer at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. He also served in Iraq in 2009.

This is the family’s first Christmas without him. Jessica Halstead said she already has arranged for her husband to watch Derek open his presents using Internet video conferencing.

But she warned her parents, who are spending the holiday with them, that Christmas morning could be difficult.

“He doesn’t like it over there, so it’s really hard for him now,” she said of her husband. “He was telling me he can’t believe Christmas is already here.”

At home, Jessica Halstead said raising Derek while her husband is gone has been challenging. There are times when she doesn’t hear from him for weeks, she said. Missing his phone calls is worse.

“If you miss a phone call, it’ll eat you alive,” she said.

She missed Aaron Halstead’s first call from Iraq and didn’t hear from him again until a week later.

Jessica Halstead often shows Derek pictures of his dad and schedules time for them to talk to keep the father-son bond strong. It’s rough for young children when they rarely see their dads and don’t yet understand why, she said. Jessica Halstead said she makes sure her son’s life is filled with reminders of his father.

“I always tell Aaron I’ll never let Derek forget where his daddy is,” she said.

ecowan@durangoherald.com