TV bombards us with creative extremism

Now that the political environment is beginning to simmer and the arena is filling with bloodthirsty spectators, may I suggest that we all take a moment to salute the single greatest literary device created since the dawn of history, since the very firmament was forged from the fundament, since the first Neanderthal humanoid learned to text “LOL” to his friend circle: the hyperbole.

Never in a trillion zillion years has such a device been utilized to communicate essential feelings by augmenting them with creative extremism and vivid imagery. As we are bombarded and assailed by the dire warnings, grim reminders and critical messages of life-threatening doom, let us all take a moment to give thanks for the figurative hovels within which we may cower while awaiting what may prove to be certain destruction, and peer nervously through the window blinds of our ignorance as we await the miraculous manifestations of those heroic and unselfish political figures positively 100 percent guaranteed to rescue us all from our inexorable descent into the fiery pits of spiritual socialized heck. Try to remember that quivering in fear can help us to stay warm against the frigid winds of perdition. Portents swirl relentlessly in the celestial wheeling – I saw it on TV.

Davitt M. Armstrong