Remembering lost loved ones is a great gift

We lost Peter Carver in an avalanche Feb. 2 this year. I knew him since he was a toddler, until his passing at age 23. We were best of friends. I miss him deeply.

I’ve learned that there’s comfort in being reminded of him. A few days ago, I was stopped downtown by a friend. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, “I know it’s been a rough year for you since Peter died.” Those few words made for a moment that was the best part of my day. Particularly now, during these longest of nights, the season of giving, to acknowledge the loss of a loved one is a most generous act of love and kindness. As years fly by and decades pass, people adapt to their lives without someone. But the absence endures, and the need to honor and remember remains. As Pat Schwiebert writes, “When one person is missing, the whole world seems empty.”

We can give a moment to remember those we most care about. It can take the form of kind words asking “How are you holding up?”or a card or email saying “Missing Peter these days” or a hug. Or a hand on the shoulder.

Paul Wilbert