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Hail or assail kale? Debate rages on bumpers, in kitchens

A bumper sticker calls for curbs on the now-ubiquitous, green, leafy vegetable.

I saw this bumper sticker recently and could not believe such a sentiment exists in this, the Age of the Brassicas. Is it allowed? Does the feeling then apply to all of kale’s close relatives? Please advise. Sign me, J.J. Kale

Kale has taken the food world by storm as a vitamin-packed super food.

Everywhere you look, you see the green, leafy vegetable.

Technomic, a food-industry consulting group, found that the use of kale as a menu item has increased by more than 400 percent in the past five years.

Meanwhile, the luxury grocer Whole Foods sells 20,000 bunches of kale each day nationwide.

Despite these facts, there are people insisting that it’s a fad. These people are Kale Deniers.

Kale’s scientific name is Brassica oleracea. Mustard greens, broccoli, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts are kale’s cohorts in horticulture. But you don’t see bumper stickers protesting those vegetables.

On the produce-aisle catwalk, kale is the “It Plant.” As such, kale’s popularity is provoking a backlash among those who just plain don’t like the stuff.

The leaf “tastes of dirt and unhappiness,” wrote one blogger. Comedian Jim Gaffigan quipped, “I looked at a can of bug spray, and it said, ‘Made with real kale.’”

Then there are the brash brassica bashers who object to kale merely on principle.

On the “kalehaters” Facebook page, you find this observation: “The biggest threat facing America is not terrorism or obesity or even the Kardashians. It’s kale.”

Comedian Marc Maron is fed up.

“I went through my entire life never talking about kale. And then, all of a sudden, every other conversation is about kale. When did that happen?” he asked.

Maron traces kale’s popularity to the same time people started putting bacon in everything.

“Two years ago, bacon and kale replaced good and evil in our culture. … you just have to find a way to live a moral life between the two.”

Action Line happens to enjoy kale. And bacon.

In fact, one of Action Line’s favorite breakfast treats is when Mrs. Action Line whips up a batch of baked-egg squares with kale and Italian sausage, which is not quite bacon but is close enough.

As for the bumper sticker, it’s a constitutional right to express one’s opinions on a vehicle. Usually, bumper stickers are about politicians and not vegetables.

Not surprisingly, kale is four times more popular than lawmakers: The Zagat “2015 National Dining Trends Survey” of more than 10,700 diners across 17 major American cities showed 63 percent either “loved” kale or “don’t mind” it; Congress, on the other hand, could only muster a 15 percent approval rating in a Gallup poll.

Food for thought, eh?

H H H

The Mea Culpa Mailbag contains a correction from our good friend Geoff Craig, a local water attorney, who pointed out errors with last week’s rant on the stupidity of bans on rain barrels.

Action Line was wrong in saying rain barrels are flat-out illegal.

First of all, if you have a well or well permit, you can have a rain barrel, as long as you get a permit and an “augmentation plan.”

Second, Geoff points out, “It’s perfectly legal to collect water in rain barrels in most places in the Animas River basin because the Animas River historically has not gone on call, and, therefore, people can collect water in barrels in priority at any time during the year.”

A couple years back, Geoff wrote an informative primer about local rain barrels. You can read it here: http://tinyurl.com/DgoWater. It’s a good piece.

Nevertheless, rain barrels are legal until they are illegal. And that could happen any time.

Consider the current state of rain-barrel regulation the equivalent of our blinking yellow arrows and High-Intensity Activated crossWalKs (HAWK), which invite interpretation and situational exceptions thereby causing confusion and non-compliance.

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you knew that the first of October is National Kale Day.



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