Q. My boyfriend of five months, retired military, hates D.C. and plans to move to the Midwest. Getting married is not a priority for him – finding a job and moving is. I’m 44, never married and willing to move. I feel he’s Mr. Right, but when I ask him if I would be going with him, his response is “If it works out that way.” Does he not want me to come? He’s really good to me, but every time he applies for a job out there, I start crying.

A. He sounds like he could be a decent-enough guy to date for five months, but there’s nothing that indicates he’s ready to commit in the serious way you want. In fact, he’s actively resisting that idea – a troubling incompatibility because you’re ready to declare him The One. He could get there eventually, but right now, he cares more about moving away from you than ensuring you’re with him.

If you followed now, you’d be bearing the entire risk and sacrifice with him putting nothing on the table. He’s right – he should go first. And you should use that time to see if he makes any inch of movement toward what you want.

Q. What’s your take on someone (me) who always seems to want more? I visualized my life a certain way by my mid-20s, and I have it, but I am not satisfied. I compare myself to others a lot. Like my apartment is great, and yet I see one person’s balcony and now I want that too. I’m like that about my appearance, my vacations, my clothes, my job, a lot of things.

A. There’s a fine line between being motivated to go for the things you want – without that there’d be person-shaped dents in all of our couches – versus never being able to be satisfied at all with what you get (or already have). The former is associated with drive, goal-setting and passion, while the latter can lead to anxiety, depression, self-pity and helplessness.

Maybe you’re an overplanner who gets antsy once boxes are checked off, or an anxious overcomparer whose vulnerabilities make her unduly affected by what others have. Doing some work with mindfulness can help bring you toward a place of fulfillment in the moment. Reading The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris is a great place to start.

Andrea Bonior, a Washington-area clinical psychologist, writes a weekly relationships advice column in The Washington Post’s Express daily tabloid and is author of The Friendship Fix. For more information, see www.drandreabonior.com. You can also follow her on Twitter: @drandreabonior.