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City might run out of words in Sustainability Action Plan

Aren’t you constantly amazed at the politically correct gobbledygook from our elected officials? Specifically, this pertains to the City Council “Sustainability Action Plan” announced via the Local Briefs on Aug. 11. What in the world does this mean and how long did it take to craft such a nebulously worded statement? – One of Your Minions

Being “constantly amazed” would not describe Action Line’s reaction to most things. “Perpetually annoyed” is more like it. Just ask Mrs. Action Line.

“You are such a curmudgeon and a crab-meister,” she frequently retorts after reading the cynical first draft of Action Line.

After a second cup of decaf and some quiet introspection, it becomes abundantly clear that Mrs. Action Line is correct, as usual. Calmer heads then prevail.

But even Mrs. Action Line uttered, “Piffle! It’s like being back in grad school all over again,” after reading the blurb that began benignly: “Durango City Council has adopted a Sustainability Action Plan for Internal Operations.”

Then the magniloquent obfuscation commenced.

“The plan is intended to elevate the city’s internal sustainability performance through implementing a strategic and systematic approach to enhancing organizational resiliency. In adopting the Sustainability Action Plan, the city seeks to be a leader in addressing these challenges.”

In other words, the city will facilitate recontextualized mission-critical benchmarks and statistical frameworks to synthesize an enterprise engagement matrix that leverages dynamic synergies for robust deliverables and best-of-breed paradigms.

OK. That wasn’t very nice.

For clarification, Action Line established a dialogue with (or shall we say “telephoned”) Mary Beth Miles, the city’s sustainability coordinator, for translation.

In a nutshell, the plan seeks to reduce costs and help the city be more efficient by having all departments work together on specific tasks that can be measured, she said.

Now we’re talking.

So far, the city’s sustainability efforts have been quite successful. For example, by retrofitting lights in all city buildings and producing energy onsite at the wastewater plant, the city has cut energy usage 12 percent, Mary Beth proudly pointed out.

More impressively, Durango has realized $350,000 in cost savings since the sustainability program started in 2011.

But there’s one obvious place where the city falls short.

Nowhere in the Sustainability Action Plan is there a goal to economize words.

Just as the city trims the fat from operations, it could use an editor to parse its adipose prose.

Instead of a “systematic approach to enhancing organizational resiliency,” we could cooperate to make our city stronger and better.

As Action Line always pontificates: “Never use a big word when a diminutive one would do.”

H H H

The Mea Culpa Mailbag closes out August with some august augmentations:

Regarding last week’s column, our good friend Peter Schertz writes, “I had never noticed the misspelled ‘Library’ sign before.”

Action Line and Peter frequently cross paths while walking along the Animas River Trail.

“What’s interesting about the sign is that they only map the automobile route to the “new” libary, and not the shorter pedestrian/bike route that you and I frequent.”

After Action Line made a shameless plug for the Fourth of July parade, the Durango Cowboy Poetry Gathering made a publicity pitch for its pending perambulation.

“After all, we’re one of the largest motorless parades in the country. And for the first time in our 27-year history, we will be judging entries,” writes Pam Jacobs, parade coordinator

The parade is free to enter, and winners get cool trophies in the categories of youth, families, non-mounted walkers, best horse entry and “most impressive mule or donkey entry.”

The event is Oct. 1-4. Parade info is at http://tinyurl.com/dgocowboy.

Cowboy up!

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you write a paper on ‘What I Did On My Summer Vacation.’



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