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Options are few when trying to curb unwanted parkers

Most houses have space for two cars in the driveways, but we have a third car we prefer to park in front of our house. Some nearby houses are college rentals. When the third car is out, opportunistic students swoop in and park overnight. The students have plenty of spots in front of their destination, only it would require a U-turn to have the car facing the right way. We’d like to keep our cars parked close to our house. Because it’s a public street, should we just park elsewhere? What can homeowners do?

Parking a third car is a First World Problem. It ranks right up there with Nature’s Oasis running out of organic artisan goat cheese, thus ruining an upcoming tapas party for your yoga class.

Action Line didn’t own a car until age 24 and a year out of college. Mrs. Action Line, meanwhile, came from family of five that shared one car.

So, carping about carbuncular car carks? Ay caramba!

There is little the landed gentry can do to prevent automotive interlopers.

That’s because the interlopers, while inconsiderate, are not interloping.

The land in front of your house is not yours. The city of Durango owns it. Anyone is free to occupy the space.

It’s kind of like those beggars downtown. Except the cars in front of your house don’t have cardboard signs saying, “Low on fuel. Anything helps.”

The Durango City Code has a few ways to punish the pesky parkers, but only under certain circumstances.

For instance, they could be cited if parked more than 12 inches from the curb or within 2 feet of another vehicle or within 5 feet of your driveway.

The law with teeth is Section 24-75 that states any vehicle that hasn’t moved in 24 hours is “presumed to be abandoned.”

The offending car can be towed at the owner’s expense, but the city rarely resorts to such draconian measures.

In most instances, a code-compliance officer will place a colorful tag on the “abandoned” car and wait the requisite number of days before calling a towing company.

All of which is not very neighborly.

When a parasitic parker pulls up, go out and introduce yourself. Smile. Shake his or her hand.

Then calmly state that you were hoping to park your car in front of your house, that being in front of their destination is a better place, and you’d appreciate a slight relocation.

Most people will respect such a request. Others will see you as a grumpy old coot. A few might utter a two-word phrase that isn’t “happy birthday.”

Speaking of grumpy old coots, allow Action Line to make a couple additional curmudgeonly remarks on First World Problems.

That a college student has a car is dubious. College students should ride bikes. It’s what you do in college.

And then there’s a thing called a “garage.” It’s where one parks a car. It’s not supposed to be a storage unit.

Citywide fall cleanup begins Oct. 12. You could start piling waste curbside to prevent college student parking.

The ironic thing is that this year’s fall cleanup is for yard waste only – no broken appliances, crummy couches or the junk preventing you from being able to park in the garage.

Unless you denude the entire yard, there also won’t be enough stuff to pile out front to thwart the unwanted parkers.

It’s the perfect storm of suburban dystopia: your view will be reduced to a pile of dead branches as well as that stupid kid’s SUV with the roof rack and various stickers from every conceivable outdoor products manufacturer.

Life is certainly harsh.

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you’ve considered painting the curb in front of your house red or setting out a line of orange cones.



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