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Behind the scenes at a B&B: Problem-solving 14 hours a day

For innkeeper, problem-solving lasts 14 hours a day

NEW HOPE, Pa.

Mike Amery awoke to a rapid-fire succession of missed calls on his cellphone. They had come minutes apart, between 11:30 p.m. and midnight. At breakfast, he was a knot of nerves and worry.

What could’ve happened to his guests? He would learn soon enough.

A trio of latecomers from New York had locked themselves out of their suite at the Inn at Bowman’s Hill in New Hope, Pennsylvania. Rather than sleep on a hammock in the backyard or curl up on a chaise lounge by the pool, the visitors had smashed a windowpane in the door and let themselves back in. They appeared the next morning well-rested and uninjured.

“I am so relieved,” he said after learning about the escapade.

Amery lives in a land of worst-case scenarios. His days and nights are filled with what-could-go-wrongs. The 72-year-old Englishman is not a pessimist; he is the owner and operator of an eight-room B&B that specializes in R&R – romance and relaxation.

“We make a contribution to people’s lives,” he said. “People come here to renew their vows, repair broken relationships and celebrate life.”

The guests have it easy. They just have to show up and surrender to the coddling and the pampering. (Pamper comes in many disguises, such as breakfast in bed, in-room massages and whirlpools built for two.) Amery, by comparison, remains in a state of high alert and preparedness. Though he wears the shell of a laid-back person, he bears the soul of a FEMA respondent.

“There is a lot of problem management – you didn’t put a second toilet paper roll in the bathroom; the air-conditioning is down,” said the 10-year innkeeper, who has weathered a recession and Hurricane Sandy. “It is about how you manage the negatives.”

For all of you daily grinders who dream of a quiet life flipping frittatas for gracious guests and bonding with strangers over pots of camomile tea on the porch, this your reality check. The job of innkeeper is no sashay down the boxwood-lined driveway.

“You are in the court of public opinion every day,” he said.

On a June weekend, Amery invited me to work as an assistant innkeeper while his partner (in all senses of the word) was away. As his shadow, I would gain a deeper understanding of the challenges – and joys – of running a B&B.

A few days before my stint, I received a list of possible tasks, including carrying luggage, reviewing reservations for food allergies, shuttling guests to town and collecting chicken eggs. Once I met Amery, who wears a grin as wide and bright as a lemon wedge, I received my first lesson: Never, ever let your smile slip.

Preparing for arrivals

Since opening in 2006, Amery has received couples, friends and family members celebrating birthdays, promotions and round-number anniversaries, including a Minnesota pair in their 90s who commemorated 70 years together. Babymoons are big, as are last hurrahs before a military deployment or a hospital stay.

A chalkboard in the kitchen offered clues to the status of the weekend’s arrivals. “PH” needed “cheese,” “C” and “M.” Amery decoded the message for me as: The couple in the penthouse requested a cheese platter, champagne and in-suite massages. “GW” needed “S,” “M” and “O.” Translation: The occupants of the George Washington Suite wanted chocolate-dipped strawberries, massages and “other” - in this case, roses.

We had two hours to shop and prepare the special orders before the 3 p.m. check-in time. Mike scooted me into the company van adorned with vanity plates: “The Inn.” In the supermarket parking lot, his cellphone started to ring. The vehicle became his office. A man was calling to confirm his reservation.

“While I have you on the phone,” Mike said, “do you like champagne?”

He listened to the answer.

“Because I am going to give you a complimentary bottle.”

The clock was ticking, so we sped through the aisles. Amery threw into his basket various cheeses, French bread, grapes, strawberries, celery and melting chocolate. When we returned to the inn, he handed the shopping bags to Anastacio Olliveria, the inn’s longtime manager. He shot Amery a beseeching look.

Slap palm to forehead: We forgot the flowers.

Guests run the gamut

Running a B&B is like throwing a sleepover party for family members you’ve never met before – and might like to disown after the weekend. Amery contends with an array of personalities, personal preferences (especially dietary) and peccadillos, such as the couple who lit candles for tantric sex and set off the fire alarm. His inaugural guest was the inventor of a successful dog harness company who was on a yoga retreat. Since then, he has welcomed a minor-league baseball player, a professional rodeo clown, a high-level military leader, a Cirque du Soleil artist and Princess Diana’s brother. The Regal Tower Suite was renamed in his honor.

Amery spends a chunk of his 14-hour days flitting around the property. Most of his face time with guests happens during the arrival period and at breakfast, but he checks in on them intermittently. On the backyard veranda, he delivered a garnished Klondike bar on a plate to a New Jersey visitor. In the side courtyard with the fountain, he chatted with a couple headed to town for lunch about their dinner plans. He discussed local birds – red-tail hawks, black vultures, bald eagles – with a guest lounging at the pool.

As a self-taught innkeeper, he has picked up tips from conferences and workshops but learned most of the trade in real time. Nearly two dozen types of responsibilities and concerns demand his attention, including licensing and inspections, maintenance, mechanical systems, housekeeping and communications. He is currently battling an issue that falls under “reputation management.” (See the single terrible review on TripAdvisor.) He is also facing the rise of Airbnb and other sharing-style lodgings, which he files under “competition and pricing strategy.”

In addition to the larger issues, he must also handle smaller disruptions. For example, the night before, a fox stole one of his chickens. A toilet in the Hidden Pines room was not flushing. And then there was the matter of the broken glass in the Regal Tower.

“When you get a problem,” he said philosophically, “how do you deal with that problem?”

‘We’ll take care of you’

Late Sunday morning, the cars started to depart the grounds. Five of the previously occupied rooms were empty, with only crumbs and creases left as reminders of past inhabitants.

Amery was in his office reviewing the reservations for the next night. He had received a message from a husband stationed in Japan. In the note, he explained that his marriage had hit a rough patch and he wanted to arrange a getaway for his wife, who desperately needed to unwind. Amery, assuming they were traveling together, responded with an offer for a couples massage and an upgrade to the manor suite. The email bounced back. He called the wife. In a small, sad voice, she informed him that she was traveling alone.

“This is a special place,” he said softly. “We’ll take care of you.”

If You Go

The Inn at Bowman’s Hill, 518 Lurgan Road, New Hope, Pa. (215) 862-8090, www.theinnatbowmanshill.com.



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