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Neighbors: Gold Star Weekend offers healing and comfort

By Ann Butler

Neighbors Columnist

Despite the tragic death of Littleton resident Dutch Vandegrift, who was killed in a car crash, the Gold Star Parents Weekend held for the first time in Durango last weekend lived up to its goals of providing a place for comfort, remembrance and more than a little laughter. It was so well-received, the weekend will be held in Durango again next year.

I joined the group for part of the donor reception, and conversations ranged between all the emotions one can imagine, and everyone handled it with grace.

I was proud of how many local businesses and individuals supported the event, and I was told that for the first time in 10 years of the event, grieving parents were asked to tell their children’s stories. So I’m proud of our local compassion as well.

I’m still angry, though, about a story I heard from Colorado Springs resident Bob O’Kane-Twombley. When he and his wife, Pat, received news of their son’s death in Afghanistan, wonky travel arrangements meant they had to travel separately to Dover, Delaware, to meet their son’s body as it was being brought home.

Passengers on her plane actually complained because she was crying too much and bothering them. When they found out why, instead of comforting her, several told the grieving mother her son deserved to die because he was killing civilians.

I thought we learned better after Vietnam, but I guess every generation has to relearn the hurtful lesson again, that whether or not you agree with a war, those who fight it and their families deserve nothing less than our respect and gratitude.

Consider this mine.

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Check back at durangoherald.com for more Neighbors stories and photos. Neighbors runs in the Sunday print edition of The Durango Herald.

Here’s how to reach me: neighbors@durangoherald.com; phone 375-4584; mail items to the Herald; or drop them off at the front desk. Please include contact names and phone numbers for all items. Follow me on Twitter @Ann_Neighbors.

I am happy to consider photos for Neighbors, but they must be high-quality, high-resolution photos (at least 1 MB of memory) and include no more than three to five people. I need to know who’s who, left to right, and who to credit with the photo. Candid photos are better than posed, and photos should be submitted as JPG or TIF attachments.



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