Associated Press

Prince Harry's 40th birthday marks the moment the royal scamp moves to middle age

FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, waves during the Formula One U.S. Grand Prix auto race at Circuit of the Americas, on Oct. 22, 2023, in Austin, Texas. (AP Photo/Nick Didlick, File)

LONDON (AP) — Prince Harry was always something different.

From the moment he first appeared in public, snuggled in Princess Diana’s arms outside the London hospital where he was born in 1984, Harry was the ginger-haired scamp who stuck his tongue out at photographers.

He grew to be a boisterous adolescent who was roundly criticized for wearing a Nazi uniform to a costume party, and then a young man who gave up the trappings of royal life and moved to Southern California with his American wife.

Through it all, there was a sense that Harry was rebelling against an accident of birth that made him, in the harsh calculus of the House of Windsor, just “the spare.” As the second son of the man who is now King Charles III, he was raised as a prince but wouldn’t inherit the throne unless brother William came to harm.

Harry is turning 40 on Sunday. That's the halfway point in many lives, providing a chance to either dwell on the past or look forward to what might still be achieved.

For the past four years, Harry has focused mainly on the past, making millions of dollars by airing his grievances in a wildly successful memoir and a Netflix docu-series. But he faces the likelihood that the royal aura so critical to his image may be fading, said Sally Bedell Smith, author of “Charles: The Passions and Paradoxes of an Improbable Life.”

“He is at a sort of crossroads,’’ Smith told The Associated Press. “And he appears to be struggling with how he wants to proceed.’’

How did we get here?

It wasn’t always this way.

Six years ago, Harry and his wife were among the most popular royals, a glamorous young couple who reflected the multicultural face of modern Britain and were expected to help revitalize the monarchy.

Their wedding on May 19, 2018 united a grandson of Queen Elizabeth II with the former Meghan Markle, a biracial American actress who had starred for seven years in the U.S. television drama “Suits.” George Clooney, Serena Williams and Elton John attended their wedding at Windsor Castle, after which the couple were formally known as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

But the optimism quickly faded amid allegations that Britain’s tabloid media and even members of the royal household treated Meghan unfairly because of racism.

By January of 2020, the pressures of life in the gilded cage had become too much, and the couple announced they were giving up royal duties and moving to America, where they hoped to become “financially independent.” They signed lucrative deals with Netflix and Spotify as they settled into the wealthy enclave of Montecito, near Santa Barbara, California.

Since then, Harry has missed few opportunities to bare his soul, most famously in his memoir, aptly titled “Spare.”

In the ghostwritten book, Harry recounted his grief at the death of Princess Diana, a fight with Prince William and his unease with life in the royal shadow of his elder brother. From accounts of cocaine use and losing his virginity to raw family rifts, the book was rife with damning allegations about the royal family.

Among the most toxic was Harry’s description of how some family members leaked unflattering information about other royals in exchange for positive coverage of themselves. The prince singled out his father’s second wife, Queen Camilla, accusing her of feeding private conversations to the media as she sought to rehabilitate an image tarnished by her role in the breakup of Charles’ marriage to Diana.

The allegations were so venomous that there is little chance of a return to public duty, Smith said.

“He criticized the royal family in such a powerful and damaging way. You can’t un-say those things," she said. “And you can’t unsee things like Meghan in that Netflix series doing a mock curtsey. It’s such a demeaning gesture to the queen."

Harry, who agreed not to use the honorific HRH, or “his royal highness,” after he stepped away from front-line royal duties, is now fifth in line to the British throne, behind his brother and William’s three children.

While he grew up in a palace and is said to be in line to inherit millions of pounds on his 40th birthday from a trust set up by his great-grandmother, applied developmental psychologist Deborah Heiser thinks that, in many ways, Harry is just like the rest of us.

Like anyone turning 40, he is likely to have learned a few lessons and has a good idea of who his real friends are, and that will help him chart the next phase of his life, said Heiser, who writes a blog called “The Right Side of 40” for Psychology Today.

“He has had a very public display of what a lot of people have gone through,’’ Heiser said. “I mean, most people are not princes, but … they have all kinds of issues within their families. He’s not alone. That’s why he’s so relatable.’’

Harry's next chapter

Of course, Harry’s story isn’t just about the drama within the House of Windsor.

If he wants to write a new chapter, Harry can build on his 10 years of service in the British Army. Before retiring as a captain in 2015, the prince earned his wings as a helicopter pilot, served two tours in Afghanistan and shed the hard-partying reputation of his youth.

Harry also won accolades for establishing the Invictus Games in 2014, a Paralympic-style competition to inspire and aid in the rehabilitation of sick and wounded servicemembers and veterans.

Harry and Meghan made headlines this year with their two international trips to promote mental health and internet safety. While some in British media criticized them for accepting royal treatment in Nigeria and Colombia, the couple said they visited at the invitation of local officials.

Harry has also made battling the British tabloids a central mission in the past few years and has sued them over old allegations they hacked his phone and spied on his private life. Harry’s ire at the tabloids, which he blames in part for his mother’s death and for driving him to the U.S., led him to buck family tradition and become the first senior royal to testify in court in more than a century, winning one trial with two more cases pending.

Will Charles see the grandkids?

Prospects of reconciliation are unclear, though Harry did race home to see his father after Charles' cancer diagnosis. And in what may be seen as a tentative olive branch, the paperback edition of “Spare” slated for October has no additions — so nothing new to stir the pot.

But plainly at this point, Harry is thinking about his family in California. He told the BBC about the importance of his two young children, Archie and Lilibet.

“Being a dad is one of life’s greatest joys and has only made me more driven and more committed to making this world a better place,” the prince said in a statement released by his spokesperson.

FILE - The Prince and Princess of Wales, Prince Charles and Princess Diana leave St. Mary's Hospital in Paddington, London on Sept. 16, 1984 with their new baby son, Prince Harry who was born on Sept. 15. (AP Photo, File)
FILE - The Princess of Wales holds son Prince Harry while royal families posed for photographers at the Royal Palace, Mallorca, Spain, Aug. 9, 1987. (AP Photo/John Redman, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry sticks out his tongue for the cameras on the balcony of Buckingham Palace in London, England on June 11, 1988, following the Trooping of the Colour. (AP Photo/Steve Holland, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, and his sons Prince William, left, and Prince Harry wait for the coffin of Princess Diana to be loaded into a hearse outside of Westminster Abbey, in London on Sept. 6, 1997. (John Gaps III/Pool Photo via AP, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, 18, punches the air as he leaves Eton College on his last day at the top public school where he has been a pupil for five years, in Windsor, England, on June 12, 2003. (AP Photo/Dave Caulkin, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince William, right, and Prince Harry, left, after the marriage of their father Britain's Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales, and his wife Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, at the Guildhall in Windsor, England, after their civil wedding ceremony, on April 9, 2005. (AP Photo/Dave Caulkin, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, second from right, grins as his grandmother Queen Elizabeth II smiles, as she inspects the Sovereign's Parade at the Royal Military Academy in Sandhurst, England, Wednesday, April 12, 2006. (AP Photo/Dylan Martinez, pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry on patrol through the deserted town of Garmisir Jan. 2, 2008, close to FOB (forward operating base) Delhi, where he was posted in Helmand province Southern Afghanistan. (John Stillwell, Pool Photo via AP, File)
Britain's Princess Anne, left, presents Prince Harry with his campaign medal, in Windsor, England, Monday May 5, 2008. The 23-year-old Prince, known as Lieutenant Wales, is among around 160 members of the Household Cavalry who served in Afghanistan this winter to receive the decoration. (AP Photo/John Stillwell, pool)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, left, talks to his girlfriend Chelsy Davy, who was born in Zimbabwe, before the international rugby match between England and South Africa at Twickenham stadium in west London, Saturday, Nov. 22, 2008. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry poses with children from the Mophane Primary school, in Gaborone, Botswana, Tuesday, June 15, 2010. (AP Photo/Shayne Robinson, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry during a photo call at RAF (Royal Air Force) Shawbury in Shropshire, England, Thursday June 18, 2009. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry dances with a girl during a visit to the non-governmental organization RISE - Reaching Individuals through Skills and Education, in Kingston, Jamaica, Tuesday March 6, 2012. (AP Photo/Collin Reid, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, smiles after playing rugby at Flamengo's beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Saturday March 10, 2012. (AP Photo/Felipe Dana, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry or just plain Captain Wales as he is known in the British Army, wears his monocle gun sight as he sits in the front seat of his cockpit at the British controlled flight-line in Camp Bastion southern Afghanistan, Dec. 12, 2012. (AP Photo/ John Stillwell, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Charles, center, with his sons Prince William, right, and Prince Harry stops for the media outside Lancaster House as they arrive to attend the Illegal Wildlife Trade Conference in London, on Feb. 13, 2014. (AP Photo/Alastair Grant, Pool, File)
FILE Britain Prince Harry, center, plays a game of sitting volleyball during the launch of the Invictus Games for wounded warriors at the Copper Box arena in the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in London, Thursday, March 6, 2014. (AP Photo/Sang Tan, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, right, as he reacts after shaking hands with kids holding up a sign during a visit to the Australian War Memorial in Canberra, Australia, Monday, April 6, 2015. (AP Photo/Lukas Coch, Pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince William, second left, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, left, and Prince Harry take part in a relay race, during a training event to promote the charity Heads Together, at the Queen Elizabeth II Park in London, Sunday, Feb. 5, 2017. (AP Photo/Alastair Grant, Pool, File)
FILE - In this Feb. 17, 2017 file photo Britain's Prince Harry speaks with people from the RFU Try for Change programme during a visit to an England Rugby Squad training session at Twickenham Stadium in London. Harry and Meghan stepped away from full-time royal life in early 2020, and Buckingham Palace on Friday Feb. 19, 2021, confirmed the couple will not be returning to royal duties, and Harry will give up his honorary military titles. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry smiles as he speaks to veterans as he attends the official opening ceremony of The Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey in London, Thursday, Nov. 9, 2017. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry and his fiancee Meghan Markle pose for photographers during a photocall in the grounds of Kensington Palace in London, Monday Nov. 27, 2017. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, File)
Britain's Prince Harry kisses and greets his father Prince Charles upon their separate arrival to attend a coral reef health and resilience meeting with speeches and a reception with delegates at Fishmongers Hall in London, Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2018. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, Pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry and his bride Meghan Markle, ride in a carriage after their wedding ceremony at St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle in Windsor, near London, England, Saturday, May 19, 2018. (AP Photo/Frank Augstein, File)
FILE - The royal family gather on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, with from left, Britain's Prince Charles, Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Andrew, Queen Elizabeth II, Meghan the Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry, Prince William and Kate the Duchess of Cambridge, as they watch a flypast of Royal Air Force aircraft pass over Buckingham Palace in London, Tuesday, July 10, 2018. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, File)
Britain's Prince William, left, Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, second left, Meghan Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry, right, arrive to attend the Christmas day service at St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham in Norfolk, England, Tuesday, Dec. 25, 2018. (AP PhotoFrank Augstein)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex meets members of the public as he arrives for a visit to Barton Neighbourhood Centre in Oxford, England Tuesday, May 14, 2019. The centre is a hub for local residents which houses a doctor's surgery, food bank, cafe and youth club. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, Pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, holding their son Archie, meet with Anglican Archbishop Emeritus, Desmond Tutu, and his wife Leah in Cape Town, South Africa, Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2019. (Henk Kruger/Pool via AP, Pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex attend the 91st Field of Remembrance at Westminster Abbey in London, Thursday, Nov. 7, 2019. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, File)
FILE - Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duke and Duchess of Sussex leave after a service of thanksgiving for the reign of Queen Elizabeth II at St Paul's Cathedral in London, Friday, June 3, 2022 on the second of four days of celebrations to mark the Platinum Jubilee. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham, Pool, File)
FILE - From left, Kate, the Princess of Wales, Prince William, Prince of Wales, Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex walk to meet members of the public at Windsor Castle, following the death of Queen Elizabeth II on Thursday, in Windsor, England, Saturday, Sept. 10, 2022. (Kirsty O'Connor/Pool Photo via AP, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince William and Britain's Prince Harry walk beside each other after viewing the floral tributes for the late Queen Elizabeth II outside Windsor Castle, in Windsor, England on Sept. 10, 2022. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner, File)
FILE _ Britain's King Charles III, from bottom left, Camilla, the Queen Consort, Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex watch as the coffin of Queen Elizabeth II is placed into the hearse following the state funeral service in Westminster Abbey in central London Monday Sept. 19, 2022. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner, Pool, File)
FILE - Britain's Prince William, second right, Kate, Princess of Wales, right, Prince Harry, left, and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, second left, leave after they paid their respects to Queen Elizabeth II in Westminster Hall for the Lying-in State, in London, Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2022. (AP Photo/Emilio Morenatti, File)
FILE - Prince William, center, and Prince Harry, right, walk behind the coffin of Queen Elizabeth II being pulled past Buckingham Palace following her funeral service at Westminster Abbey in central London, on Sept. 19, 2022. (AP Photo/Alberto Pezzali, File)
FILE - A couple take a photograph in front of a display of copies of Prince Harry's book 'Spare" in the window of a book shop in London, Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2023. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth, File)
FILE - Prince Harry leaves the High Court after giving evidence in London, Wednesday, June 7, 2023. (AP Photo/Kin Cheung, File)