The Animas River is orange! Does it glow in the dark? Is it now a fire hazard? Why did the Environmental Protection Agency wait so long to inform us? How are those near-extinct lizards and trash fish the EPA has been spending our big bucks on all of these years going to survive? Will the next generation of these trash fish be born with two heads and five eyes? How is the EPA going to find a scapegoat to fall on the sword for it? Surely there is an oil rig near enough to blame. Fracking has been known to cause environmental disasters in the past. Abandoned coal mines might be a good target, also. Acid rain hasn’t been used for awhile. The old standby, global warming, might not be a good alibi to use right now, though. That foul-smelling smoke from the power plant’s smokestacks can’t be to blame, either.
Where is the Hollywood outrage? Are those tree-hugging left-wing liberals asleep? Don’t they know there is a presidential election coming up?
Maybe the EPA can beg BP, Exxon, Haliburton, Conoco-Phillips, BHP, APS, Aztec Well Service and some of the other energy-producing companies they have been bullying to bail the agency out of its self-inflicted mess. After all, these are desperate times. Just because the EPA has shut down a lot of coal mines and oil rigs, causing a lot of lost jobs, turned the Animas River orange and tripled the price of electricity and gasoline is no reason for the tax-paying public to carry a grudge, right? The EPA is part of our government. It is here to help us, right?
Now for the $64,000 question: Did EPA commit a criminal offense or was it just a bunch of good ol’ boys working for the government who had a bad day?
Line up, lawyers! Now is your chance to help the EPA sue itself.
Bob Heaton
Farmington
