Many people tell me I don’t act like I have Alzheimer’s. That’s because I don’t – yet. I have Mild Cognitive Impairment, also known as MCI. My impairment is caused by brain deterioration because of genetically caused Alzheimer’s.
If I live long enough, I know I will eventually get Alzheimer’s because I’ve had an MRI test that already showed significant shrinkage of my brain and blood tests that show significant amounts of plaque.
My father had dementia and my mother also carried the gene. I know this because I carry an APOE4 gene from both of my parents. My MCI will devolve into Alzheimer’s someday, but it’s important to know that many people with MCI will never have Alzheimer’s.
Without diagnostic tests, it is challenging to tell the difference between MCI and typical age-related memory decline, what we used to call senility. MCI is characterized by noticeable memory and thinking problems that are more severe than what is expected for someone of the same age, but not so severe that it significantly interferes with daily life.
Like many of you, I forget things more often than I used to, but my forgetfulness is probably more pronounced than most of yours. I cannot remember books I’ve listened to recently, TV plots, vacations, conversations, or what I did a week or two ago.
I have to be very careful about appointments because I’m likely to miss them unless I’ve written them down, looked at my calendar multiple times and have been reminded of the day of the appointment.
I use the wrong words for objects without noticing. I have difficulty finding the word I need when I’m speaking. I find it almost impossible to make even the smallest decision and usually defer to the others to make decisions. Sometimes, I get disoriented and struggle with acts that require complex thinking such as managing finances or following multistep instructions.
It’s important to know that even if you have MCI, it does not mean you will develop Alzheimer’s, and some people with MCI may remain stable throughout their lives.
In spite of these distractions, and thanks to effective drug treatment for depression, I’m leading a rewarding life right now. I have no idea how long this period of relative health will last or how long my brain will work as well as it’s working now, but I appreciate every moment in a way I never appreciated life before.
If you are worried about your brain, ask a doctor to follow up on your concerns, that is, unless you don’t want to know, which is fine too. I know many people who have chosen not to get diagnosed because they don’t want to know, thinking it would change their life.
And it will.
There is certainly a stigma attached to these diseases. Who’s to say whether knowing or not knowing is better. I’m glad I pursued a diagnosis because I could tell I wasn’t thinking right, and needed to understand why.
Unfortunately, there is nothing much I can do about my disease except to stay physically and mentally healthy, and as socially engaged as possible.
Kim Martin splits her time between Hesperus and Durango, and is a former instructor of Asian history, writing and comparative cultures at Fort Lewis College. She shares her journey after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis in occasional guest columns.
