DENVER – This is the time of year when an avalanche of bills is released at the Capitol – 120 as of Thursday morning.
For a change this year, we present some of the more interesting ones, summarized in haiku form.
Bills don’t take effect until passed and signed by the governor. There’s no poetic license in the legislative process.
House Bill 1024: Rep. Carole Murray, R-Castle Rock
The King Cup Cactus.
So sharp. Such bright red flowers.
Your new state cactus.
HB 1028: Rep. Jerry Sonnenberg, R-Sterling, and Sen. Ellen Roberts, R-Durango
Hey Forest Service!
Get your grubby hands off our
HB 1036: Rep. Mark Waller, R-Colorado Springs, and Rep. Lori Saine, R-Dacono
Your third DUI?
This one is a felony.
Have fun in prison.
HB 1041: Rep. Jared Wright, R-Fruita and Rep. Chris Holbert, R-Parker
Hey, conceal your gun
under your coat, citizen.
No permit needed.
HB 1046: Rep. Ray Scott, R-Grand Junction
Scottish license plate,
for all you men who wear kilts.
Let’s color it plaid.
HB 1054: Rep. Cherylin Peniston, D-Westminster
If teens want to tan,
they can go sit in the sun.
No fake bakes allowed.
HB 1058: Rep. Jeanne Labuda, D-Denver
Label your produce
if it is GMO-free.
Just please do not lie.
HB 1063: Rep. Justin Everett, R-Littleton
Shoot him down. No penalty.
Bang bang bang bang bang.
HB 1064: Sonnenberg.
Do not ban fracking,
or say goodbye to your town’s
severance tax cash.
Senate Bill 19: Sen. Pat Steadman, D-Denver
File joint taxes with
your civil-union partner.
It’s so romantic.
SB 35: Sen. Ted Harvey, R-Highlands Ranch
Take all your windmills
Back to Denver, you hippie.
End the Hick mandate.