17 syllables about 11 bills

DENVER – This is the time of year when an avalanche of bills is released at the Capitol – 120 as of Thursday morning.

For a change this year, we present some of the more interesting ones, summarized in haiku form.

Bills don’t take effect until passed and signed by the governor. There’s no poetic license in the legislative process.

House Bill 1024: Rep. Carole Murray, R-Castle Rock

The King Cup Cactus.

So sharp. Such bright red flowers.

Your new state cactus.

HB 1028: Rep. Jerry Sonnenberg, R-Sterling, and Sen. Ellen Roberts, R-Durango

Hey Forest Service!

Get your grubby hands off our

ski-resort water.

HB 1036: Rep. Mark Waller, R-Colorado Springs, and Rep. Lori Saine, R-Dacono

Your third DUI?

This one is a felony.

Have fun in prison.

HB 1041: Rep. Jared Wright, R-Fruita and Rep. Chris Holbert, R-Parker

Hey, conceal your gun

under your coat, citizen.

No permit needed.

HB 1046: Rep. Ray Scott, R-Grand Junction

Scottish license plate,

for all you men who wear kilts.

Let’s color it plaid.

HB 1054: Rep. Cherylin Peniston, D-Westminster

If teens want to tan,

they can go sit in the sun.

No fake bakes allowed.

HB 1058: Rep. Jeanne Labuda, D-Denver

Label your produce

if it is GMO-free.

Just please do not lie.

HB 1063: Rep. Justin Everett, R-Littleton

Business intruder:

Shoot him down. No penalty.

Bang bang bang bang bang.

HB 1064: Sonnenberg.

Do not ban fracking,

or say goodbye to your town’s

severance tax cash.

Senate Bill 19: Sen. Pat Steadman, D-Denver

File joint taxes with

your civil-union partner.

It’s so romantic.

SB 35: Sen. Ted Harvey, R-Highlands Ranch

Take all your windmills

Back to Denver, you hippie.

End the Hick mandate.


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