Q: Lately I have a lot of nervous energy that I am trying to use for good. My apartment is tidier, I feel more productive at work and I am going to the gym more. But I also feel like I can’t relax as much. It’s sort of like I have to be doing these things. I feel on edge. I am wondering what the possible explanations for this are. I don’t want to give up my productivity, but I don’t quite feel like myself.

A: You’re living proof that anxiety, energy, stimulation and excitement are all part of the same (sometimes loud and obnoxious) family of central nervous system arousal. Physiologically, they look very similar, so the question becomes how they affect you mentally.

For you, it seems to be teetering on the verge of being a little too intense, despite the presumably spotless bookcases. I would recommend a thorough physical first, to try to pinpoint any thyroid issues, hormonal issues, medications or even unnoticed caffeine intake that might be at the heart of what’s going on. In absence of any answers there, I bet you could benefit from some cognitive-behavioral relaxation exercises like visualization, progressive muscle relaxation or diaphragmatic breathing. Self-study could get you started, but if you’re still feeling on edge, a good cognitive behavioral therapist could take you even further. They would help you understand what might be happening, and help you make a plan of action for keeping the productivity and energy you like but ditching the antsiness that you don’t.

Q: Is it unreasonable for me to ask my soon-to-be-ex-wife that she not share the details of our divorce with our (10- and 13-year-old) children? They know we love them and that we no longer will be married to each other but we will always be their family and their parents. She says they deserve to understand that we both made mistakes (there was infidelity on both sides, along with financial betrayal on her part).

A: Helping your kids understand the general life lesson that even grown-ups make mistakes is not nearly the same thing as generating a specific visual of Mom and Dad cheating on each other. I am squarely with you in that there is no specific need for preteen-ish children to hear the laundry list of ways their parents failed at being married. What would be the point?

Instead, the focus should be on the ways you two are succeeding — by being there for your kids, by not asking them to take sides, and by maintaining stability in whatever ways are meaningful to them. No one’s expecting you to lie or pretend you’re perfect, but the basic message of “Mom and Dad were not at our best when we were married, and though we’re not going to stay married, we will always be your parents and are here for you as much as ever” far beats some recitation of a marital rap sheet.