The majority of us have something that we would like to change in our lives, something we would like to improve in order to better ourselves. This could be getting out and connecting more with others. It could be to feel healthier, or become more active. Maybe it’s finding passion in our lives or bringing more joy in. Shouldn’t enjoying life to the best of our ability be an ultimate goal?
If we have this awareness and know there is something we want to be different, then what prevents us from doing it?
Self-sabotage is a real thing. We have become really good at telling ourselves all the reasons we can’t do something rather than telling ourselves all the reasons we can. Is it possible to get out of our own way to make a change for the better?
It is easy to come up with excuses for why we can’t do something. Time is a big one. Everyone in this world is busy. However, busyness should not define us. The reality is, the busier we are the more we probably need to prioritize time for what relieves stress or what can make life more enjoyable. When we find ourselves making these excuses, I would challenge us to question why?
Often, this is our way to make ourselves feel better and not have to take personal responsibility for why we aren’t doing something that we feel we should be doing. Excuses are a way to avoid judgment both from ourselves and from others.
It is hard to recognize that we are the only ones who have control over what we do. In order to achieve what we want to achieve, in order to be where we want to be, we have to make the conscious decision to make that change. It is our choice.
Are you motivated to work through the barrier that is preventing you from moving forward?
For some, this barrier is a lack of motivation, distraction or a feeling of unworthiness. Maybe we have painted ourselves into a corner and we can’t see our way out. Our minds have taken over and are doing a really good job of keeping us stuck.
For others, it is fear; plain and simple. If we don’t ever do anything, change anything, try something out of our comfort zone, then we never push our limits and this keeps us “safe.” The unknown can be scary, but if we don’t face it, how do we ever shift our life for the better?
Here are some suggestions as to how to start moving forward:
- Write, write and write some more. What do you want in your life? How do you want to feel? What do you want to achieve? Are you choosing to live in a way that is in alignment to where you want to be? When we put things to paper, it can bring us clarity as to next steps. Remember, we are our own guides.
- Be aware of the excuses. It is important to recognize that you are the one who is in control of your life. If you want change, it is ultimately up to you. So, rather than making excuses, do something about it. The other side is, if you aren’t ready to do something about it, then I would encourage you to sit with the reason why; the real reason why. There might be a lot more to your resistance than you realize. And, often when we are able to reach this place of awareness, it leads us to figure out ways to move forward.
- Play with the resistance, get out of your comfort zone. If something feels uncomfortable then challenge yourself to push pass that.
- Commit. What can you commit to and what is sustainable? For example, if you want more connection and meet people, can you commit to finding or joining some type of social activity or group once a week? Once a month? Figure out what works for you and then make it happen.
- Work with someone who can help support you to make the change you need in your life. Sometimes all we need is that little bit of extra guidance and motivation.
It is all possible, it is all doable. We all have the ability to change things for ourselves, we simply need to make the choice and start moving forward.
Jennifer Roe is a master level Red Hat Qigong practitioner, an integrative nutritional health and wellness coach, a facilitator of women’s circles, programs and more. For more information, visit www.thehealingroe.com.