William Burroughs once wrote, “There are no innocent bystanders ... what were they doing there in the first place?”
This may be an overstatement in some cases, but I do wonder if there are ever innocent bystanders in an incident of bullying. Can I truly be innocent if I witness the harming of another and do nothing?
I was prompted to this deliberation after reading an article in the “Huffington Post” about a 5-year-old Albuquerque girl with an intellectual disability who was physically assaulted by neighborhood kids while walking home from school.
Unfortunately, this appalling incident itself isn’t that unusual. Studies of the relationship between bullying and intellectual disabilities have consistently shown that children with intellectual disabilities are two to three times more likely to be bullied than their peers without disabilities.
It was the response to the bullying that made it newsworthy.
After learning about the incident, the Punishers, an Albuquerque motorcycle group, all got together and rode out to the little girl’s house to assure her that they would always have her back. This act of solidarity and support reminded me of other examples of bullying resistance that have made headlines. Remember the waiter who told a table of diners that he couldn’t serve them after he overheard them ridiculing a patron with an intellectual disability? Or the basketball team that walked off the court to address spectators who were bullying a young woman with Down syndrome?
I hope that in a similar situation, I would stand up like these folks instead of being silently horrified and turn away.
According to Barbara Colorosa, retired special education teacher and author of The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander, for anti-bullying efforts to be effective, we’ve got to galvanize the bystanders. Bullies are surrounded by a circle of support, which includes their evil henchmen, active and passive supporters and the “deadly lot” – the disengaged onlookers who see it, know it’s wrong and fail to act. Perhaps worse is the adult who justifies the violence as normal childhood behavior. Each contributes to the violence and is just as much a part of the problem as the active bully.
In order to stop the violence, bystanders must be willing to be “witness resisters,” people who will step up and resist the bullying in any way we can. Colorosa sums it up in three steps: “Pay attention, get involved, and never look away.”
Tara Kiene is the director of case management with Community Connections Inc.
