I am the eldest daughter of German immigrant parents, therefore, I have always felt it my duty to uphold the German Christmas traditions, and over a lifetime of living in the U.S., to blend them into stateside rituals. Consequently, my family benefits (or endures) December ... my husband calls it the Christmas that never ends.
The Germans really know how to milk a holiday. And Christmas is the crowning glory.
Christmas giving and receiving begins the evening of Dec. 5, when German children place a shoe outside their bedroom doors in anticipation of a preliminary visit from the king of Christmas. In celebration of “St. Nicholas Tag” (St. Nicholas Day) on the 6th, he leaves small gifts for the “good” children, and coal or straw for those who have misbehaved all year. There was certainly some incentive, if we’d strayed from dutiful daughter throughout the year, to pull it together as the date neared.
Then, the countown to the “real” Christmas, Dec. 24, began. This is when St. Nicholas comes to visit, bringing gifts to be opened that evening rather than Christmas morning. We only experienced the manic deluge of Christmas morning in daylight and pajamas one time. My parents said they tried it once, when we three girls were 6, 3 and 1. Never again, they vowed, finding it far more civilized to witness the joy and madness on the Eve, dressed in finery, sipping wine and knowing that a good night’s sleep lay ahead, rather than joining the ranks of bleary eyed neighbors clad in flannel and clutching bottomless mugs of coffee.
In Germany, the 25th was a family day with feasting at home and hearth, and the 26th was called “Der Zweite Weihnachtstag,” meaning “The Second Christmas Day.” This day was devoted to visiting friends, stopping in for “caffe und kuchen” (coffee and cake) at various abodes. The 25th and 26th were equally emphasized, thus extending the celebration into three full days before the real world set in. In days of yore, retail stores were often closed on all three dates. Even now, when consumerism has beat out tradition and resulted in most stores being open except for the 12 hours of Dec. 25. I don’t think there is anything like a Walmart that opens at the wee hours of the 26th to begin the madness of Christmas sales.
Through college, this is how we celebrated the holiday. However, as we grew up, moved and married, we were forced to amend our holiday traditions to accommodate those of spouses. Consequently, the 12 years of Christmas (as one spouse declared) became a Beckedorf girl/husband ritual. Everyone benefited from the ensuing bounty, with presents opened on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Even stockings made their way into our lives, with everyone picking a name of someone for whom we filled the stockings. The stocking ritual was even more fun than actual presents.
While our spouses were used to winding down the holiday by the time the last morsel of turkey and stuffing was consumed at Christmas dinner, we insisted that there was more – Der Zweite Weihnachtstag, remember? “Ah yes,” they would manage a smile and supportive shrug. Well, we can make it one more day, right? After 21 years, my husband still goes along with it, although he has begun to remind me that Vince Guaraldi was not a German and therefore, the never-ending melody of Charlie Brown’s Christmas need not find its way into the 26th. I managed to sneak in one more spin as he was out and about that day.
When it was time to put Christmas away for another year, I watched my husband out of the corner of my eye, expecting him to dance a covert little jig as the ornaments were carefully wrapped and boxed, leaving a brittle, naked tree in the living room. But, to my surprise, there was also a little bittersweet glint in his eye. Because, no matter where you are or what you believe, in its purest state, when it really is about celebrating joy and gratitude, is there really anything as magical as the holidays?
