The Durango High School boys lacrosse team’s success in 2025 can be attributed to an unlikely source of structure.
In the past few years, the Demons’ boys lacrosse team struggled, winning five games from 2021-2024. The program had some talent but struggled with discipline. The team culture was described as frat-like with players not as focused on winning.
Enter Valeria Skarbek.
The Durango High School teacher never coached boys lacrosse, but jumped at the opportunity when she realized Durango High School Athletic Director Ryan Knorr needed someone to fill the coaching position at the end of January.
She had a new perspective on life after being diagnosed with stage four breast cancer in June of 2021 and was ready for the challenge. The kids on the team were ready for discipline and structure and it was a perfect fit.
Under Skarbek, the 2025 Demons finished with triple the wins they did the season before and made the state playoffs for the first time since 2017. Durango was noticeably in better shape, more disciplined and got the most out of its talent on the roster.
“She's done an amazing job, leading with her heart, yet holding the kids accountable,” Knorr said. “She's what I picture now when I think of tough love; she puts the kids under her wing. The kids know she cares, but she's very good at holding them accountable and making it very clear why they need to do the right thing, not just to do the right thing.”
Knorr, seniors Zane Geygan and JT Munger described her as the mom of the team. Knorr remembered how, during road trips, Skarbek would do bed checks at the hotel and would give everyone a bag of popcorn as a snack. Then she would tape the door to make sure they didn’t leave; it was one of the many examples of the love and accountability Skarbek provided that the kids craved.
The Demons finished the season 6-9 overall and 4-6 in the 4A Mountain League under Skarbek, which even exceeded her expectations of five wins. Before the season, Skarbek looked at the schedule and thought about what teams the Demons could beat with the structure and conditioning she would bring.
Skarbek grew up far from Durango on the east coast in Riviera Beach, Maryland. She played field hockey and girls lacrosse in high school. Skarbek played a lot of different positions in high school before heading to Rider University in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, for college.
Her sports journey took a turn in college when there wasn’t a club girls lacrosse team available for her to join. Skarbek was on the student council and was friends with some of the club boys lacrosse players. They needed help with funding for the team and went to Skarbek for help. She helped and then asked if she could join the team; Skarbek saw an opportunity as a lot of the guys on the club team were inexperienced.
Lacrosse is one of the rare sports where there’s a huge difference in the game depending on the gender. Girls lacrosse involves a lot of finesse, different sticks, different rules that include a lot less checking and a lot less equipment.
Boys lacrosse is a very physical with lots of padding since the boys can check hard, everyone’s wearing a helmet and the sticks have deeper pockets. There are so many different rules to know for each type of lacrosse and it can make the transition Skarbek made confusing and challenging.
“I'll never forget my first practice; we were just playing sticks and gloves and I was lined up against a big guy,” Skarbek said. “We were supposed to be no contact in a shadowing drill and he laid me out. It knocked the wind out of me and one of the coaches, who was the local business guy, went, ‘Don't hit her; she's a girl!’ I responded with, ‘Don't hit me because it's no contact.’ I was really mad about that but that's the only time that I really got laid out.”
Skarbek learned quickly to use her speed, aggressiveness and assertiveness. It’s something she’s always had and she took it with her from Rider to Schenectady, New York, where she began her teaching career and played women’s semipro football.
She eventually moved from Schenectady to Stanford, Connecticut, to Denver and then to Durango in 2011. She eventually got a job as a librarian at Durango High School and her first high school coaching opportunity was when the Demons girls lacrosse coaching job came up in 2020, right before COVID-19. Many people encouraged Skarbek to coach, but she was expecting a baby and turned the job down.
Then Skarbek received her cancer diagnosis and it changed everything.
Skarbek was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer in June of 2021. She received chemo for four months and went to Denver for radiation therapy. Skarbek has been categorized as NED, no evidence of disease. She said this means that the cancer isn’t reproducing with the medicine she’s taking, but she’ll likely never be in remission.
Initially, it was a tough period for Skarbek. She felt like she had a ticking clock on her head and that the grim reaper was following her. But Skarbek adjusted. She didn’t have cancer-scan anxiety like some people do and she realized she needed to live every day like it was her last. Her husband, kids and Skarbek bought an RV and traveled more.
“Being diagnosed and being given a 50% chance of living past five years and in reality, most people without the medications I'm on, when they're diagnosed with stage four, off the bat, they're only given a 20% chance of making it to five years,” Skarbek said. “So this year's four years this June, so it looks like I'll be making it to next June, and my oncologist up in Denver said if I live to five years, I'll probably live to 10. So I realized, if I only have two years or three years or five years, what would I do with my life? Then, when the opportunity (Durango boys lacrosse) popped up, I immediately knew I wanted to do that.”
Skarbek loves challenges and competition, so when the Durango boys lacrosse opportunity came up, she knew she didn’t need to talk to anyone about it. She was in.
Without a ton of experience with boys lacrosse, Skarbek knew she needed help. Luckily, parents like Jeff Munger, Matt Muraro and Doug Geygan were ready to help. Former Fort Lewis College club boys lacrosse coach Tom Mudrak came on board to help with X’s and O’s.
Adding the parents helped create a family-like atmosphere and helped rebuild the culture. Skarbek became a teacher at Durango High School after coming back from her medical leave and that helped the culture. Players respected her because they knew what she was about in the classroom and knew she wouldn’t put up with any crap.
JT Munger and Zane Geygan said that because they knew Skarbek as a teacher, they felt comfortable coming to her with any problems and talking about anything.
A woman coaching in a male sport is rare and it’s rarer in lacrosse, given how different the rules are. Skarbek remembered how in one of the first games this season, the other team wouldn’t shake her hand. But, she’s grateful for how the players have responded to her; they don’t question her for being a woman or not remembering all the rules all the time.
While Skarbek’s future is uncertain with her cancer diagnosis, what’s certain is the impact she made on her team. She plans on returning as head coach next year, but regardless, plenty of players saw success on the lacrosse field for the first time and have been molded into better young men because of her.
That’s not bad for someone who was decked in her first boys lacrosse practice and could’ve easily quit. But quitting isn’t in her DNA and the Durango boys lacrosse program has been revitalized because of it.
bkelly@durangoherald.com
