.png)
There are many moments of considerable learning as we wander this path called aging. It seems like every day there’s another issue to fuel our journey. Signs that let us know our time is finite, our bodies are wearing out, we have less energy, our worlds are getting smaller. The teachings we get from aging are perhaps the most profound. We’re having more and more opportunities to contemplate and ponder what’s happening, and how we can accept whatever the day may bring.
Learning acceptance is the hardest! The changes in our bodies, our energy ... they all happen. How to not fight them, but accept them gracefully. This is not to say we invite them in. We eat well, try to get in some exercise, have healthy routines, but the demise is unstoppable. We can’t hike as far, swim as fast, shovel that snow, or whatever our thing is. Skiing downhill – yikes! And to accept these things without anger, frustration, sadness. They’re inevitable. No discussion, just do the best we can. Pat ourselves on the back for even being out there trying. Suffering is fundamental aspect of existence.
Also, acceptance of friends dying, or moving away, and the loss of dear people in our lives. I’m realizing loss in more and more ways these days. The poignancy can sometimes be so hard, but again, this is the way it is now. How do we go on with that hole in our lives, whatever it may be? We just do! I’ve learned how to grieve with reverence, another new teaching for me. And the impermanence of everything.
I am learning patience, something I never had much of before. I’m allowing myself to take as much time as I need to get things done, go places, cook, keep my house organized and go through my day. I can’t seem to cram it all in anymore. It’s OK.
Appreciation is another insight – of others going through the same things, and some even more than me. I love how we try to support, advise, heal and help each other. Compassion fits in here also.
Discernment. I’m wanting to pick and choose what I do now. Too many activities exhaust me so I’m trying to limit outings to one or maybe two a day. And friends, who do I click with? Who do I really want to spend time with? And projects. What’s important now? How do I want to invest the energy I do have?
Cleaning and simplicity. Many of us are looking at our “stuff” and thinking what do I want to leave? What can I eliminate now in order to make it easier for kids or whoever comes after? And to make our environments less busy and more serene as we ease into this later life. I want to be able to look out the window, see the birds and trees without a lot of clutter in the way.
Communication and deep and sincere presence with people we love. If not now, when? There’s not a huge amount of time left to say the things we need to say, make amends, tell someone how important they have been to us. Being there, and listening.
Freedom, in that we’re letting go of so many of our identities now, and learning more joy, in the expanded time we have for deeper reflection, mystical readings, meditations and quiet time. An increase in spiritual fulfillment.
The big learning, of course, is gratitude. Gratitude for the long life we’ve lived, the many adventures and challenges, our families, our people. And gratitude for the little things that make the day so meaningful – the birds eating the sunflowers I worked hard to grow, the trees in their magnificence in all four seasons, the visit from a good friend for tea, our community, the many opportunities we’ve had, and still have. And the beauty that surrounds us.
“The mind of the expert is narrowly trained.
The mind of the sage is opening wide.
We are not becoming experts.
We are just finally becoming good students.”
Tao Te Ching
Martha McClellan has lived in Durango since 1993 and has been an educator, consultant and writer. Reach her at mmm@bresnan.net.
