I was heading into south City Market and something literally stopped me in my tracks. Some workers were putting ceramic jack-o’-lanterns out for sale. It’s not even Labor Day and we’re getting ready for Halloween? Really? Can’t we simply enjoy what’s left of summer instead of preparing for Oct. 31? Sign me, Bah Humbug
Action Line went trick-or-treating to the grocery store. Sure enough, there’s a plethora of perky pottery pumpkins to peruse, pick and purchase.
There are also some white ghosts to accompany said ceramic statuary of seasonal squash.
Each piece features a hole in the back for candles to create that spooky Halloween ambiance.
But isn’t it a bit early for pumpkins and ghosts?
Most shoppers were taken aback by the bric-a-brac.
“Are you joking?” one passer-by exclaimed, shaking her head. “The kids are even back to school yet.”
“Will Christmas trees arrive next week?” another person wondered.
But a City Market worker, who asked not to be named, said the Halloween stuff started selling within minutes of being put on display. “Welcome to the world of retail,” he said with a laugh.
In fact, workers were still unpacking the ceramics from shipping crates when a shopper made her impulse purchase: a double-noggin jack-o’-lantern.
Apparently, two heads are better than one.
It doesn’t stop at jack-o’-lanterns. “After we get through setting up these pumpkins, we start stocking the candy,” a co-worker added.
Also sure enough, the following day in Aisle 2, the shelves featured decorative orange boxes brimming with bags of Snickers, Three Musketeers, Junior Mints and all manner of bite-size stuff that keeps local pediatric dentists at full employment.
With a mere 78 shopping days remain before Halloween, you better start stocking up.
Also for you early birds, this week might be a good time to put on the snow tires and turn on the furnace. Just in case.
That’s stretching it a bit. But you know how some people are. Action Line has a couple of friends who are finished with their Christmas shopping. Seriously.
Just to be fair, the normally procrastination-prone Action Line did pick up a yuletide item the other day. It’s for a family white elephant gift exchange.
The handmade treasure cannot be identified because Action Line’s in-laws read the column and would be tipped off.
Let’s just say it was two bucks, includes an armadillo and the lady at the United Methodist Thrift Store found the objet d’art to be so awful that she wanted to purchase it too.
She offered four bucks. “ It’s not for sale,” Action Line replied wryly.
Anyway, back to Halloween. If you’re totally jacked on jack-o’-lanterns, Action Line’s good friend Pam saw an intriguing craft project online.
Take those cheap plastic pumpkin candy buckets. Spray the inside with cooking oil. Then fill the bucket with mixed concrete. After it cures, cut away the plastic and you have a sculpture!
Your concrete pumpkin won’t be eaten by deer or get all gross and slimy.
They’ll also defy the feral ne’er-do-well teenagers who skulk the streets in search of things to smash, which is something to think about if you leave your City Market ceramic pumpkin at risk on the porch.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you have your Snowdown outfit already picked out.
