I try to convince skeptical coworkers (and myself) that my messy desk really is working for me. If I put it away, it’s out of sight, out of mind. Your system might not work for me. I am a unique person with my own unique ways of thinking and processing. Plus, I might be a little stubborn.
On the other hand, I have to admit, there are times I can’t find a document. Or I don’t get something to someone as soon as they expected (I hope my boss isn’t reading this). If my system is flawed, is it really working for me?
Just like my coworkers (and every time-management book on the market) want to convince me I should change my behavior, people with intellectual disabilities frequently have professionals and experts telling them their behavior should change. Then those professionals put a lot of time, money and energy into making them change.
Every behavior has a function. My piles have the function of keeping my priorities literally within my sight. Someone in a wheelchair may shout across the room because he can’t independently move himself closer. An autistic individual may flap her hands for many reasons, including soothing herself or communicating a need or emotion.
But as a society, we’ve decided some behaviors are appropriate and others aren’t. It’s ineffective to have stacks of paper on your desk. It’s rude to shout. It’s weird to flap your hands.
According to whom?
Certainly, some behaviors are clearly not acceptable. It’s never OK to hurt someone else. Probably not a great idea to hurt yourself. Most behaviors we try to change don’t fit in either of those categories.
Changing behaviors is hard. In some cases, it can be uncomfortable or downright painful (ask anyone who has tried to quit smoking). In the world of intellectual and developmental disabilities, techniques for changing behaviors can be intensive (requiring hours of daily work and repetition) and invasive (strapping a child’s hands to a chair to prevent flapping).
So when is it necessary to change a nonharming behavior?
There are those who will argue both sides of the case. Some believe failing to address the innocuous behaviors may allow them to grow into harmful ones. Or they may create barriers to someone living a “normal” life. Others say if the behavior is functioning for that person, it’s serving an important purpose, so leave it alone.
I’m not going to try to solve that riddle. All I know is that an adult, I am probably going to change a nonfunctional behavior myself. I’ll get tired of searching through stacks or looking at the clutter, and I will try something different. The new behavior might be just as bad, but it was up to me to change it. No amount of your cajoling is going to be as effective as missing that important deadline in prompting me to change. If I don’t change, I get to live with the consequences.
Tara Kiene is the director of case management with Community Connections Inc.
