With the 4th of July a month away, the Durango Business Improvement District needs to tap into Action Line’s immense powers. We’re in charge of organizing the “Stars and Stripes Parade,” but we’re short on entries. We need a shameless plug. Consider this an appeal to Action Line’s deep sense of patriotism – along with the fact that it would be an easy column to write. Could you please put something in the paper? Your fellow citizen, Tim Walsworth
How can a Yankee Doodle Dandy like Action Line refuse such a noble public service? That and the fact that it’s an easy column to write.
Our good friend Tim Walsworth is the executive director of the Business Improvement District, or BID.
Last year, the district and some outstanding volunteers took up the challenge to transform Durango’s July 4th parade.
For years and years, Durango didn’t want to compete with the Pine River panoply in Bayfield.
Some were aghast that Durango blew off a parade that celebrates America. Yet the July 4th critical mass always fell short.
Then, last year, the parade committee achieved the unthinkable. It turned the patriotic perambulation into a respectable hullabaloo, with a doubling of “floats” to 50.
Now the trumpet summons us again.
Entering the 2015 “Fourth of July Stars and Stripes Parade” is free. All you need to do is fill out the entry form at www.downtowndurango.org.
Pretty much anything patriotic will work. Think American flags and bunting.
Local stores stock Old Glory, but bunting might be another matter. You can always order bunting from Oriental Trading Company.
On second thought, scratch that. Nothing could be worse than celebrating American Independence Day by using a credit card to purchase cheap decorations made in China.
Parade entries will need to be patriotic, family appropriate and “no controversial theme, overcommercialization or excessive noise.”
With these broad guidelines, some folks might be stumped for ideas. Allow Action Line to make a few suggestions:
Cardboard-Sign Precision Drill Team: Since July 4th celebrates freedom, why not exercise your First Amendment right to free speech and free assembly?
Not much effort would be involved. The Cardboard-Sign Precision Drill Team just needs to scrawl messages on corrugated trash and hang around downtown.
The messages could include employment status, dietary preferences and/or political commentary.
Benches lining the parade route will offer handy places for drill team members to exit the parade, sit down and interact with tourists and locals alike.
Jacked-Up Truck and Harley-Davidson Silent Procession: Imagine a parade where vehicles whose sole purpose is to make noise refrain from doing so.
No revving engines. No blaring of music. Just a courtly cortege.
Because the Silent Procession would be so unusual, participants might just find that they get more attention by not trying to get attention.
Lake Nighthorse Dry Dock Flotilla: July 4 is the perfect event for boat owners frustrated by Durango’s Lake of No Admittance.
Gather up your family and friends, hitch up the Bayliner and float downtown.
Decorated vessels could display a banner saying, “I wanted to cruise my hometown reservoir, but all I can do is drag this stupid boat down Main Avenue.”
The Running of the Pit Bulls: Durango loves extreme adventure and canines. So why not combine the two? It would be a dangerous spectacle inspired by Pamplona, a town near the sister city of Durango, Spain.
At parade’s end, daredevils in white shirts and red scarves would begin sprinting down the street.
A few seconds later, organizers would release pit bulls to chase the runners in a celebration of Durango’s desire for leash-free public spaces.
In any case, the July 4th parade is your chance to star in a banner event. Or shall we say a star-spangled banner event?
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you rather have “America the Beautiful” as the national anthem.
