Sometimes I think I should just stay off the Internet. It just offers incidents to shock and dismay. A recent example is this story of a Facebook post that went viral in November.
On Nov. 9, Justine Van Den Borne, a 35-year-old in Melbourne, Australia, posted an open letter to the person who left a note on her car windshield. While parked in an accessible (i.e. “handicapped”) parking space at the local shopping center, her car acquired a handwritten message stuffed under the wipers. The friendly message was, “Did you forget your wheelchair???”
Justine is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Anyone familiar with the condition knows that it can be a debilitating disorder that often manifests in cycles of symptoms. During some periods, the person with MS can function well and feel healthy, while mere days or weeks later, the person can have symptoms so severe she cannot leave the house. The condition generally progresses, affecting the person more significantly with time.
On the day of note, Justine was having a good day, walking unaided. The note writer apparently saw her walk into the shopping center and jumped to an erroneous conclusion.
Perhaps the writer believed she was being a staunch advocate for people with disabilities and saw the note as an expression of righteous indignation. Perhaps he was distressed that he didn’t get to park as close to the building as Justine. Whatever the motivation, the note writer was not only wrong, but offensive to all people with invisible disabilities (those not obvious to the casual observer).
Our Melbourne note writer obviously felt angry and upset when confronting Justine’s windshield. Justine felt the same upon reading it. Thousands of others responded with anger and sadness when reading of Justine’s plight. It’s amazing how a little hurt can snowball into a pandemic of pain.
In spirit of a season in which many cultures are celebrating peace and joy and goodwill, I want to offer a radical suggestion: What if we presumed people were doing what is right?
I’m not suggesting a Pollyanna approach to life that has you sending your bank account information to an alleged deposed prince in Nigeria after receiving an email solicitation. I’m suggesting that when there is no imminent harm involved and no obvious indicators otherwise, what if we thought the best of people?
This would entail not jumping to the conclusion that someone was trying to abuse the parking system. It would also mean assuming that people of all ability levels could achieve marvelous things and giving them the chance to do so before dismissing them.
Instead of a snowball of hurt, we could start avalanches of support and encouragement. We could celebrate Justine’s victory in being able to walk into the shopping center that day, while respecting the fact that her strength and stamina wouldn’t sustain her walking much further. We could see the good in people and expect others to do the same for us.
Tara Kiene is the director of case management with Community Connections Inc.
