If you’ve read any of my previous columns, you know, I struggle with depression. For 2½ years, I’ve gone in and out of severe clinical depression. I am free from depression for the time being because of a cocktail of medications that is working beautifully. I was still encouraged to write a bit about depression because it’s a common symptom of people with dementia, like me, and many others who suffer for various reasons.
Over 16% of us in the United States take medication for anxiety and/or depression. That is about 53 million of us. We suffer for an equal number of reasons. As I understand it, some become depressed because of events that have occurred in their lives. For most of them, depression may be deep, but relatively short term. Others of us, including me, fall onto a deep, lasting depression that leads to suicidal inclinations.
Before my health care professional and I found the magic mixture of medications that relieve me from my suffering, I spent nearly 24 hours a day in bed in a fetal position, completely fatigued, contemplating the lack of my value in life. I wanted my husband to leave me alone so I could die from starvation in peace. I lost 20 pounds and would have continued to waste away without medical intervention. Food and drink were repulsive. I didn’t want to see or hear from anyone. There was nothing anyone, including my husband, could do for me. You can imagine his angst and frustration.
My thanks goes to a dedicated health care practitioner who stuck with me as I unsuccessfully tried various medications and alternative techniques (psychedelic mushrooms, ketamine, electro-convulsive therapy and psychotherapy), finally landing on a discrete mixture of drugs that is working.
As a result, I am writing this column on an airplane to Montreal for a vacation with my husband. I have a beautiful world of adventure to look forward to, wonderful friends and family members, and a brain that is almost as clear as it was before I got Alzheimer’s disease. I am truly fortunate.
If this article rings true for you, don’t give up looking for your remedy from depression and/or anxiety. It’s out there.
Thank you, friends, who convinced me to continue writing.
Kim Martin splits her time between Hesperus and Durango, and is a former instructor of Asian history, writing and comparative cultures at Fort Lewis College. She shares her journey after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis in occasional guest columns.
