The television show “60 Minutes” aired an entire show about dementia with a focus on Alzheimer’s. The first section was devoted to a husband and wife the crew had followed over a period of 10 years.
In the first episode, filmed soon after the woman had been diagnosed, the woman had mild cognitive impairment as a result of Alzheimer’s, like I have. Her symptoms were barely noticeable.
The “60 Minutes” crew visited the same couple two years later. The disease had progressed and the husband had taken on much more caretaking and household chores.
The crew visited again three years later and the progression of the disease was quite noticeable. She needed help with almost everything. The burden was weighing heavily on the husband and she seemed not to notice anything going on around her.
By two years later, the woman could barely speak and was helpless to do anything for herself. The husband said at times he wanted to shoot himself from the strain and sadness.
By the 10th year after the original episode, when the “60 Minutes” crew visited for the last time, the woman had aged drastically. She could not speak, knew no one, could not walk or do anything on her own.
At this point, the husband had decided to place her in a nursing home, even though he had sworn he would never do that to her. It was clear to the viewer that he should have done it long before he did. At this point, he was paying large chunks of their retirement to the nursing home to house her until she died.
I’m doing well now. I have mild cognitive impairment, and can do most anything other than art, sports and complicated tasks. My energy is low and memory bad, but I still seem “normal” to others.
Already my husband does more for me than he probably ever imagined doing. I see the writing on the wall. I know my life will follow that of the woman from “60 Minutes,” and therefore my husband’s life will become evermore burdened.
Up until now, I have said I do not want to be placed in a home, and I would like to die before that time comes. Dying before your body fails is not so easy. I have no idea how this might play out. Unfortunately, I suspect, like so many others in nursing homes, I will live out my life with Alzheimer’s being my cause of death.
After watching “60 Minutes,” I retract everything I have said or written about not being placed in a home. I am determined not to be a burden. It is unlikely that I will be aware when the time comes that I have become burdensome.
If I can’t die when I have no more joy of living, let me go to a nursing home for those waiting to die.
Kim Martin splits her time between Hesperus and Durango and is a former instructor of Asian history, writing and comparative cultures at Fort Lewis College. She shares her journey with Mild Cognitive Impairment in occasional guest columns.
