Throughout the years of attending and covering high school sporting events, parents have become more and more aggressive toward referees.
The boos and jeers seem to be getting louder and more frequent. This needs to stop for the betterment of the referees, the players and the fans at these sporting events. If it doesn’t, more and more referees may quit and you won’t be able to live vicariously through your child as often as you have grown accustomed to.
First off, the referee shortage is real. There are numerous articles highlighting one big reason some refs leave and others won’t join the profession: fan behavior.
Because of this, officials who may not have the experience needed at a varsity level are being pushed up because of the shortage. This leads to poorer performance by inexperienced referees, which leads to parents complaining more. Then the cycle starts over and gets worse.
Why are parents becoming more abhorrent? There’s no clear reason, but parents might be trying to live vicariously through their children because their kids have more opportunities than they did. It also could be because in their warped mind, their kids are collegiate athletes in the making, but the referees are getting in the way of that. Parents today might be cocky and have more knowledge on the sport than the referees, which is almost never true.
All of the possible reasons for parents’ rude behavior are idiotic and unnecessary.
If you want to live vicariously through your kids, let them perform to the best of their ability. It’s almost unheard of to meet any child playing youth and high school sports who performed better and enjoyed playing more while being embarrassed by their parents arguing for a call.
The parents who think they know more than the refs are sorely mistaken. These refs have been trained and have to know the rule book cover to cover, something most parents don’t know. If for some reason these refs don’t, it’s most likely because they’ve been pushed into this position because of the shortage, which falls back on the obnoxious parents.
Parents also need to realize that it’s not life or death whether a referee misses a travel violation, or calls a strike instead of a ball. There are plenty of plays throughout a game that could have gone better or worse. One play or even multiple plays during a game won’t change the course of a kid’s life.
First off, most children won’t go on to play college athletics. Let them enjoy the high school athletics experience, as they most likely won’t compete in a setting like that again.
On the flip side, if a kid is destined to be a stud college athlete, or even a professional athlete, they will be that regardless of a few missed calls. Do you think LeBron James’ St. Vincent-St. Mary games were officiated perfectly? Heck no, but his career turned out more than OK. Same with Tom Brady at Junípero Serra High School, or Mike Trout at Millville High School baseball games.
It’s also insane to think arguing a call that’s already happened will change anything. Feel free to share an instance this has happened. But after a call is made, the ref never looks up into the third row at Joe Schmo and says, “You know what, you’re right. That was a travel, let me change that for you.”
This discussion also includes a human decency aspect. Referees are people just like anyone else. They’re someone’s spouse, parent, sibling, neighbor and friend. They have feelings and imperfections.
Referees don’t deserve to be heckled for doing their jobs to the best of their ability. Imagine someone standing outside your cubicle and screaming at you over a spreadsheet or failing to close a deal. It wouldn’t be so nice.
Finally, it’s time for stop or cancel games when referees face verbal or even physical abuse. A stern message needs to be sent to these parents who don’t know where the line is, that there will be consequences for both them and their children.
High school and youth sports are a beautiful thing when done properly. Unfortunately, many parents don’t know when to shut up, and it ruins the experience for everyone.
Sit back, cheer for and enjoy the kids’ performances. Before you know it, they will be out of school and you’ll actually have to find real hobbies to focus on, not the men with striped shirts and whistles.
bkelly@durangoherald.com
