The diagnosis: broken and dissolving bones and dislocated joints in my foot. The treatment? Stabilize and immobilize it in a boot and walk on crutches for several years.
Yep, you read that right: years.
For the first couple of months, I thought I might break my neck, so I wouldn’t have to worry about my foot. Then, one day, I realized I had achieved a relatively smooth gait, mastered stairs and was even walking at times without thinking about it.
But that doesn’t mean coping on crutches is easy.
My managing editor, who was on crutches himself for a short period recently, thought there’s no one like a long-suffering crutcher to describe what the experience is like and share some tips for others who might find themselves four-legged, particularly during this slippery time of the year.
I solicited advice from Suzanne Zerbe, who, after suffering polio at the age of 4, spent 12 years on crutches, before throwing them away, much to the consternation of her orthopedists. After 50 years off, she has gone back to crutches.
“I started doing it when I went out, for balance,” she said. “I need to be smart, so now I spend most of my time on crutches.”
One disclaimer: Zerbe and I are allowed to put weight on both feet, so we have it easier than people who have to keep all the weight off one foot.
Joining the ranks of the disabled brings its own set of challenges:
Carrying things
A friend gave me “saddlebags” to hang on one crutch, which allows me to carry drinks and small things. Another gave me a rolling cart, which helps with bigger loads, such as groceries. For a while, I used a fanny pack before going to a cross-body purse to carry daily essentials.
And then there is the kindness of friends, family and strangers.
“Walking on crutches gives me a chance to see how noble and kind people can be,” Zerbe said. “Men are tapping back into chivalry, and I really love teenaged boys who break away from a group of their buddies to help. I know they’re special kids.”
Opening doors
Pushing out is no problem – all it takes is a hip check. But pulling doors open requires extra balance and strength. Once again, a helping hand is appreciated.
Icy sidewalks and parking lots
“It’s like giraffes or any four-legged animals,” Zerbe said. “You have to keep track of four points on ice.”
I have “crampons” on my crutches that I can put down in icy conditions – they’re also helpful on slick, grassy lawns in the summer – and friends gave me Yaktrax for my boots after I fell and got a concussion last year. I still went down a few times while doing my Christmas lights feature this year, because putting them on and taking them off is a hassle.
The best advice is to try to park where it’s clearest and walk like a little old lady – very slowly and carefully, paying attention to where you place every single step and crutch.
Parking
The best part of being on crutches is the handicapped parking placard, which allows access to designated spots and allows us to use any spot free for as long as necessary unless the handicapped marker designates a limit, such as the spots across from the Strater Hotel and the ones in Rio Grande land, the high tourist areas.
They’re only good, however, when the spots are available. The recent two weeks with free downtown parking was great for everyone but the handicapped.
“Doctors are issuing more and more handicapped stickers while the city has the same number of spaces,” Zerbe said. “And when people are designating parking spaces, they’re thinking of people who are in wheelchairs, not people who are walking, so they often put them in awkward places.”
There’s always a bit of anger from both of us at able-bodied people taking the handicapped spots.
“There’s a bit of arrogance there,” Zerbe said. “They think they’re only running in for a few minutes, or they never see anybody parking there so it’s just a wasted space, so they use it anyway.”
Stairs
From the long flight of cement stairs with metal edges at the Herald to the narrow small stairs going to the Pullman Room at the Strater, stairs are, without a doubt, one of the most dangerous things to do on crutches. I once was talking to someone while going down a short flight of four stairs and missed one, landing upright on the one below with my heart in my stomach. That was a close call.
The key to stairs is to keep it slow, pay attention – I prefer not to talk when going down stairs – and try to stay to one side, so you can grab a rail or the wall if you lose your balance. For me, keeping my eyes on the stairs and not looking up or down also is critical to staying solid.
Restoring balance
Most people worry about my foot. But with one side of my body out of whack, I worry about keeping the rest of my body – the ankles, knees, hips and back – in shape because there’s no easy way to recover from injuries and aches. Massage, acupuncture and chiropractor visits are key, as are stretches and nonweight-bearing exercises.
The other side
Crutches are really more of an annoyance than a tragedy.
Dogs and cats generally greet me by running for cover, and a growl or two is not uncommon. It’s just not normal for a human to have four legs, I guess.
The little electric carts at the supermarket are invaluable, but they’re speedier than you think.
I once almost took out the produce section at south City Market by trying to turn around rather than going around, and I’m not sure I’m welcome at north City Market anymore after wreaking havoc in the bakery.
Make sure the cart is fully charged, though. I almost ran out of power at the back of Walmart, and was terrified I wouldn’t make it back to my crutches before it died.
And then there is the philosophical life lesson.
“It’s interesting being handicapped,” Zerbe said. “When you come out of the mainstream onto the fringe, you begin to understand minorities because now you are one.”
abutler@durangoherald.com
