With The Durango Herald now being printed on skinnier newsprint, will Action Line have to do shorter columns or will you have to use smaller words? Just curious. – Tom
Last week, this publication’s width shrank by 1 inch. But there have been no requisite rules to prune prose. Rest assured, you’ll still get the obligatory 550 words each Monday morning.
Actually, it’s more like 600 to 625 words, as Action Line is wont to wax loquacious and proffer puffy punditry.
Regular readers see “interloper” and “scofflaw” bandied about on a regular basis.
We have explored the dark world of “titubant tubers” and” truculent truckers.” A little ration of alliteration? Action Line serves up a bountiful buffet of buffoonery.
Anyway, let’s return to your query regarding an itty-bitty lexicon – could a blowhard such as Action Line be limited to one-syllable words? Would there be a savings in space and ink? Let’s find out.
Here’s the first and perhaps only mono-syllabic Action Line response:
What if this space were to have all wee words? Would that hit the mark? It is tough to say.
There are a lot of words that are small. But you need some ones that are big from time to time.
Even that famed guy who wrote the great books The Old Man and the Sea and For Whom the Bell Tolls would use large words now and then.
Lean prose can be crisp. And it has this weird pace, a stop and start clip, much like a Dick and Jane quote. (“See Spot run. Run, Spot, run.”)
Back to what you ask: Would a piece with small words make sense? Yes. So far, the words used on this page have met that test.
And more to the point, no one at the top has said that small words must be the norm. So it can be done.
The trick is: Do you like terse verse or would you like to see prose with more flair?
It piques one’s thoughts, that’s for sure.
There is a rule for those who work at the news desk: “Do not use a big word when a diminutive one will do.”
Oops.
H H H
The Mea Culpa Mailbag contains a delightful dispatch from our good friend MaryAnne LeBlanc.
She sent along a photo of some fascinatingly grotesque Halloween statuary gracing the LeBlanc’s palatial digs. “A French pumpkin, Musquee de Provence, is on our front step,” she writes.
“Halloween is our favorite holiday,” MaryAnne said, adding “couldn’t wait to put these out … already ate a bag of candy corn.”
But MaryAnne’s second photo is even more shocking. The subject line: “Best of all, our animal friends love Halloween, too!”
You know how Action Line feels about urban deer. The mere mention of “urban deer” will spur a reaction similar to uttering “Hillary for president” at a meeting of the Durango Gun Club.
Anyway, the rats with hoofs are now plundering our decorative seasonal squash. If this trend continues, there won’t be pumpkins left for feral children to smash after Halloween curfew.
Something must be done. We cannot have pumpkin-free streets on Nov. 1!
Perhaps we should set out bowls of candy for the deer.
The consumption thereof will cause tooth decay, thus curbing the beasts’ ability to desecrate decorations and browse area gardens.
With the added artificial colors, preservatives and empty calories, maybe the deer will have lower life expectancies because of unhealthy snacking.
Heck, it’s working among our children. Why not the deer?
Anyone up for a Baby Ruth or Jolly Rancher? Trick or treat!
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you struggle with selecting a Halloween costume because everyone in Durango seems to be dressed up in a costume every day and no one cares.
