Tired of getting your tail kicked by the wind? Do you feel pains in your groin when pedaling uphill? Maybe it’s time to get rid of your road bike before you get passed by a transvestite on a recumbent.
Road cycling is not only a waste of calories, but space, too. I frequently see packs of riders riding three abreast and endangering everyone else on the road. Nobody wants to see you guys in skin-tight clothing, either. Wasting valuable materials with antiquated aerodynamic design keeps your sport boring. Also, what message are you sending to kids with all the cheating that goes on in the world of professional cycling? Do yourself a favor and donate your road bike to charity – to someone who actually needs it in Africa or Texas.
Write the purchase price off your taxes and get a real machine, a mountain bike or even a longboard. Go between switchbacks instead of pedaling up them.
Max Murchison
Marvel
