Men are being characterized these days as either strong, pro-man, pro-Trump, pro-sexual-conquest or weak, intellectual, wusses. I’m here to say no to this dumbing down of masculinity.
Trump exemplifies the selfish, arrogant, sexualized, ignorant type of masculinity. That part of all men that we usually grow out of when we learn to respect others. Not the fake respect that Trump expresses when he shouts he respects all women, that he has the yuuugest respect, the most respectable respect of all time. Ha! I am talking about the actual embodiment of real respect. The kind of respect that guides our behavior when no one is looking. The kind of respect that understands and embraces real consent. The kind of respect that stands up and speaks out against misogyny, racism and ignorance whenever and wherever it arises.
I think some men are unconsciously afraid of losing their masculine energy if they are open to being equal with women. And in this, they are not completely off the mark, as they feel they sometimes neutralize blandness of the “modern sensitive man,” the man that they think has been trimmed back by feminism. But this weakened masculinity they fear is just a misunderstanding on the way to awakened masculinity.
When we own the damage that our aggressive Trump-style sexuality causes in women, other men and society, then one of the common responses is to cut our natural energy, to mute our vitality, to suppress the vivid life moving within us. But this is a mistake.
As men, we can embrace the life flowing within us, and learn to channel this intensity into clarity, courage and deep presence. We can learn not to suppress our sexual energy, to not express it in its raw and undeveloped state, but to address it, hold it like the vital gift it is, and use the energy to grow into mature masculinity. Learning to shift from dominance, not into weakness, but into centered power-with others is essential to awakened masculinity. Yang masculinity can be a strong contribution. May it be so!
Steve Self
Durango
