A Letter to the Editor last week claimed residents are “under attack” from smart meter “electromagnetic radiation thanks to the FCC.” The letter-writer suggested that we should learn more by streaming a film chronicling this national danger. But wouldn’t streaming endanger me as well? And should I be afraid of my automatic garage-door opener? – Anonymous, please
Streaming the documentary “Take Back Your Power” over the Internet would indeed result in more electromagnetic radiation, not only from the computer itself but also your home’s Wi-Fi.
It also requires a $4.95 electronic payment via credit card or PayPal, resulting in trans-national data processing, furthering contributing to “electro-smog pollution.”
Nevertheless, everyone should know about the scourge of smart meters and electromagnetic radiation. So call everybody on your cell. Send a bunch of texts. Set up Facebook pages and other social media. Follow the issue on Twitter. Write a blog.
Using electronic and wireless technology is the only way to stop electromagnetic radiation from creeping into our lives!
OK, that was snarky. But La Plata Electric Association has spent far too much time explaining smart meters. Its comprehensive website is www.lpea.com/services/metering.html.
The site and its links debunk every absurd indictment of smart meters. But dark suspicion persists, including fears of privacy invasion.
But how is privacy enhanced by going back to analog meters? They require monthly visits from random utility personnel who must enter your property unannounced to read the meter, which is mounted next to your house, in many cases near a bedroom window?
That’s the thing about conspiracy theories – the more you dispel them, the more it proves conspiracy.
To limit electromagnetic radiation, stock up on canned soup and move to a place so far off-the-grid that it requires a GPS to find.
But you can’t use a GPS. It emits death rays, just like a TV remote or garage-door opener.
The only true safe harbor from electromagnetic radiation is the electricity-free 19th century. Of course, you’ll need a time machine to get there.
Time machines, however, need vast amounts of electricity. Just look at the “flux capacitor” from the movie “Back to the Future.” The flux capacitor required 1.21 gigawatts. Great Scott!
If you haven’t seen “Back to the Future” or want to see it again, just turn on your computer and stream it over the Internet.
H H H
It’s a banner week for the Mea Culpa Mailbag. Readers were asked to proffer wild ideas about the mysterious box thingy along U.S. Highway 550/160 by Basin Co-op.
“It’s obviously a bird house. When you came by to investigate, the birds were at work, and they locked the door,” Gary Hardin said. “It may seem improbable, but it’s the truth. Glad to help.”
But the mystery was solved by several people, including the folks at CDOT.
“Clearly, I did not ask the right people in my attempts to identify the strange box in our right of way,” writes our good friend Nancy Shanks, CDOT spokeswoman. “Indeed, it is ours. It’s an Automated Traffic Recorder attached to in-pavement loop detection and administered by our Division of Transportation Development in Denver.
“Per the recorder, that segment of highway sees an average annual daily traffic count of 35,000, with 3.5 percent being semi-trucks,” Nancy continues. “You can look that up on Al Gore’s Internet, through OTIS (not Redding, but our Online Transportation Information System).”
Thanks also to J.B. in Arboles, Daniel Roemer, Todd Ellison, Mike Somson and Charlie Black for their suggestions and clever ideas.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you think of ‘streaming’ as describing tears down your cheeks or sunlight through a window.
