I’m an older resident of La Plata County, and on occasion, I need a handyman. Right now, the inside of my toilet needs to be replaced. Looking at the classified ads, I noticed that one handyman has two ads. How can a handyman afford these? Or is this a large company? I won’t be calling him because I figure he’d charge a lot. – Sign me, Need a Handyman
It’s not often that Action Line scratches his head, furrows his eyebrows and reads a question over and over. This is one of those times.
Is this a question about cash flow or water flow? Are you fretting about marketing in lieu of your loo?
And why not make a free call to ask about expenses? Would you refuse to buy food because grocery stores have big, colorful circulars?
If a plumbing estimate seems plumb crazy and you’re not flush with cash, then plunge into a new search before making a wrenching decision.
Action Line felt a bit drained by all this. That’s when Mrs. Action Line provided an excellent exhortation: “When in doubt, answer the question exactly as it was asked.”
Mrs. Action Line, as we all know, is the voice of reason in an increasingly irrational world. Where would we be without Mrs. Action Line?
We already know the answer to that question, so let’s skip to the handyman dual queries.
First, how can a handyman have the budget for two ads? Second, is this a front for a big corporation?
The answers were easy to get. We simply called Jay, the handyman.
Jay likes to keep things simple. He goes by Jay, leaving his last name out of things. His business is called Plumbing & Heating because that’s what he does, both repairs and new construction. He’s a master plumber with 43 years of experience, by the way.
Jay said he offers handyman services as a way to keep busy and do a variety of interesting projects to help people. Doing small projects also help support his e-commerce site, Mineral Methods, which sells organic laundry detergent, mold killer and stuff that degunkifies washing machines.
An interesting side note here: Mineral Method’s Rain Laundry Detergent is a detergent-free detergent. But what else are you going to call washing-machine stuff other than detergent? We’d need to make up a word.
Like degunkify. But that has nothing to do with handyman services.
We asked Jay if he were a huge corporation out to corner the global market for fixing stuff.
“Oh, heck no,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m just one single guy.” Jay said he’s more interested in the Daytona 500 than Fortune 500.
He also said the ads he runs in the Herald’s Pro Connect section are the only advertising he does. Jay was sad that you didn’t give him a call for an estimate. But that’s business.
“Handymen are always drooling for work,” he said.
So next time you have your hands full and need some handiwork, pick up a handset and hand-pick your handyman. Soon, you will have matters well at hand, with your commode in working mode.
In the meantime, Action Line won’t be privy to your privy.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you explain why “handiwork” has an “i” but “handyman” has a “y.”