Generational differences at the holidays

Saturday, Dec 31, 2022 4:00 PM

Happy 2023! Here’s hoping people have had a fulfilling holiday time with friends and family.

I had a family Thanksgiving with people I dearly love. We gathered in Denver and all camped down in my son’s house. I live alone, so living with seven others for six days was wonderful and difficult and active and fun and very different for me. Needless to say, I was exhausted when I got home.

There were three generations present, from age 12 to age 76, including Generation X and Z (sometimes called the iGen) as they say, and me, the Boomer.

One of the differences I noticed was the speed of things. They all talked so fast, they moved fast, they interacted fast. There was so much technology going on, from my grandson’s virtual reality system to everyone being on their phones all the time, carrying them with them and constantly checking them. Lots of talk about artificial intelligence and the latest tech products, and streaming things on TV.

The energy of everyone was so much greater than mine – they were all so active all day and then lasted at a high level long into the night, where I was heading to bed by 9 or 10. During our Thanksgiving morning hike, my oldest son stayed with me while the others forged ahead. It was so sweet, but a definite reminder of my aging body.

I also noticed that some people do all the work. After all, Thanksgiving dinner is labor intensive, and it is also very fun to cook with others we love. We had a blast in the kitchen for almost two days. But some kids just got waited on, didn’t pitch in and it seems like their roles are pretty set, even at young ages.

We all played Jackbox Party Games streamed on TV and everyone was so quick and sharp and bright and funny. What a riot! But I would have rather had face-to-face conversations.

I have to say, I’ve never felt more like the matriarch, sitting at the head of the table, people making sure I was OK with food and drink, lots of consideration, my own bedroom.

Boomers have grown up experiencing an extended period of prosperity, progressive social change and resulting optimism about the future. Gen X is the first population to grow up with personal computers and the information age. I remember my son’s Apple IIC computer (wish we still had it for resale). These kids, my kids, were impacted heavily by economic and social upheaval and thus less optimistic but more self-reliant than previous generations.

Gen Z, or iGen, born after 2000, are still kids, teens in my family. They are motivated by security, may be more competitive, want independence, will multitask, are much more tolerant of others (races, cultures, sexual orientations), are truly digital-native (growing up totally surrounded by technology) and want to be catered to. Perfect descriptions.

I’m sure other variables were at work also, like being a son, or being a daughter, a daughter-in-law or being the mother. Dynamics come early and they tend to stay with our family relationships forever. Some good heart-to-heart talks were very meaningful and informative. Loving awareness during these times is key.

Great times together and all too precious. We all made the effort, were all healthy and really love each other, regardless of our generational differences.

I wonder if other elders reflect on these contrasts when they are with family. Do we feel inferior, or in the way? Or, do we ponder the distinctions and feel grateful for where we are in our lives? Interesting to think about.

So cheers to all of us who have the gift of family. May we nurture, and be nurtured by them, in 2023!

Generational differences at the holidays

Happy 2023! Here’s hoping people have had a fulfilling holiday time with friends and family.

There were three generations present, from age 12 to age 76, including Generation X and Z (sometimes called the iGen) as they say, and me, the Boomer.

The energy of everyone was so much greater than mine – they were all so active all day and then lasted at a high level long into the night where I was heading to bed by 9 or 10. During our Thanksgiving morning hike, my oldest son stayed with me while the others forged ahead. It was so sweet, but a definite reminder of my aging body.

I also noticed that some people do all the work. After all, Thanksgiving dinner is labor intensive, and it is also very fun to cook with others we love. We had a blast in the kitchen for almost two days. But some kids just got waited on, didn’t pitch in, and it seems like their roles are pretty set, even at young ages.

We all played Jackbox Party Games streamed on TV and everyone was so quick and sharp and bright and funny. What a riot! But I would have rather had face to face conversations.

I have to say, I’ve never felt more like the matriarch, sitting at the head of the table, people making sure I was OK with food and drink, lots of consideration, my own bedroom.

I’m sure other variables were at work also, like being a son, or being a daughter, a daughter-in-law or being the mother. Dynamics come early and they tend to stay with our family relationships forever. Some good heart to heart talks were very meaningful and informative. Loving awareness during these times is key.

Great times together and all too precious. We all made the effort, were all healthy, and really love each other, regardless of our generational differences.

I wonder if other elders reflect on these contrasts when with family. Do we feel inferior, or in the way? Or, do we ponder the distinctions and feel grateful for where we are in our lives? Interesting to think about.

So cheers to all of us who have the gift of family. May we nurture, and be nurtured by them in 2023!