It’s the Friday after Thanksgiving, which can only mean one thing: We’re now knee-deep in the holiday season, although technically, if you go by store schedules, the holiday season started pretty much while Halloween decorations and candy were up ... in September.
So, in the spirit of giving, here is my gift to you this season: A handful of movie suggestions that are devoid of smoochy syrupy canoodling. And the best part? The vast majority of these cinematic gems can be found free on the YouTubes. Free!
An asteroid strike in a small town unleashes ice crystals, threatening to freeze anything in its path.
A young boy named Pietari and his friend Juuso think a secret mountain drilling project near their home in northern Finland has uncovered the tomb of Santa Claus. However, this a monstrous Santa. When Pietari’s father captures a feral old man, the man may hold the key to why reindeer are being killed and children are disappearing. Rated R.
Eavesdropping on mother turns a boy into a killer (Brandon Maggart) who roams the streets dressed as Santa Claus. Rated R.
Martian ruler Kimar is upset that the children of Mars are lazy and under the influence of too much pop culture from Earth. They are obsessed with the planet’s television programs and don’t want to do much of anything. In an attempt to get the kids peppy again, Kimar orders the kidnapping of Santa Claus, hoping that the jolly old toymaker will know how to cheer the children up again. But two Earth children are also nabbed, and this complicates things for Kimar.
Amnesia makes a mean health-food tycoon (Hulk Hogan) think he’s Santa Claus, especially when it comes to a local orphanage. Keep an eye out for actress Mila Kunis. Rated PG.
A curmudgeonly kitty helps a little girl find the spirit and charm of Christmas, in a holiday adventure. Rated PG. (RIP Grumpy cat, who died in 2019.)
Climbing a tree to save a witch’s cat sends a boy on a fantasy to rescue Santa Claus.
Merlin the magician helps Santa save children tempted by the devil to be naughty. Clocking in with a 40% tomatometer from Rotten Tomatoes, this film far outranks John Travolta’s “Staying Alive” (0%) and “Battlefield Earth” (3%).
Children and a bunny try to help Santa get his sleigh out of Florida sand. Rated G.
katie@durangoherald.com
