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Granddaughters’ bikinis make waves at gathering

DEAR ABBY: I have two granddaughters and four grandsons. My granddaughters, ages 19 and 20, wear thong bikinis at family swim events in front of their dad, grandpa, uncles and cousins. I believe this is incredibly inappropriate.

I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to attend swim parties with the family anymore. I’ve told my son my feelings, and he said he leaves the dress code up to his wife. Should I just stay away from family swim parties? – Appalled in Indiana

DEAR APPALLED: Because your son has passed the buck to his wife, explain to her that the bathing attire the “girls” are wearing to the family swim events embarrasses you so much that you are considering no longer attending.

Remember, however, that your granddaughters are both adults, and the decision about what they wear is up to them, not their mother. (If this were Europe, there would be no problem.) I hesitate, however, to advise you to skip these family get-togethers entirely because they are opportunities to bond, and I would hate to see you fall further into the generation gap.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married eight years. Three months ago, I made a terrible mistake. I pushed her. It was the first time I ever put my hands on her in anger. She called the police, and I was arrested. I still have a no-contact order.

I live in my car and cry every day. I just want a chance to apologize, but her family is making sure she stays away. She hasn’t filed for divorce. Do you have any advice? – Man with a Broken Heart in Washington

DEAR MAN: Yes, I do. Because there is a no-contact order in place, consider asking your doctor or insurance company for a referral to a licensed mental health professional who can help you deal with your anger issue.

That your wife hasn’t filed for a divorce is hopeful, but for the two of you to reunite may require the assurance to her and her family that what happened will not be repeated in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I have worked with a guy in some capacity for more than 25 years now. He thinks he’s a comedian and plans elaborate schemes to deploy his jokes (or pranks), which fail 100% of the time. Worse, he repeats them in case you didn’t hear them.

I find this all annoying, but I don’t want to be unkind to him. He’s a good person overall, but this is truly taxing. I have stopped fake-laughing and walk away when I can, but it’s getting harder and harder to tolerate. What should I do? – Not Funny in the East

DEAR NOT FUNNY: The next time this happens, do not react. If you remain stone-faced, it may discourage him. Alternatively, when he repeats a joke, tell him you heard it the first time.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.