U.S.-Canada relations still OK, eh? Yes. Let me explain.
The Queen, my Queen, who is from Queens, New York – Astoria, to be exact (Archie Bunker territory) – does not do cold weather well. She requires a month or so of warmth every winter. You’ve heard of “happy wife, happy life?” Well, my version of that is “warm weather keeps us together.”
This winter’s respite happens to be in Yuma, Arizona, where it is perpetually warm. It has up to 330 sunny days annually. Yuma is the meeting place for Canadian and American snowbirds who fly south and west.
How do I know so much about the state of U.S.-Canada relations? I am currently conducting field research on the coming together of these two great peoples. Most of my research is done in the pool where we retirees mostly float and bob more than swim. This creates a wonderful opportunity to converse and solve the questions of the universe.
Despite the president’s proclamation of Canada becoming the 51st state, our friendly northern neighbors are still our friends. They know and understand that “we the people” are still their kind of people – mostly.
In addition to the pool, my extensive field research took place at the site of a monthly ritual on Yuma’s calendar, called Howling at the Moon. This takes place in the middle of the desert on the evening of a full moon. There is a band on stage, preceded by an Elvis impersonator, of course. Much dancing, imbibing, toking and eating led to the main event.
When the full moon first appears, the howling begins. We’re talking thousands of boomers uniting in full chorus to celebrate. It is an amazing sight and sound as you can imagine. Dogs in attendance rise to their hind legs in a full standing ovation. With American and Canadian flags flying on each end of the stage, we are united as one in that moment. You really had to be there.
Canadians and Americans have so much in common. Hockey, curling, comedians and now, howling at the moon. We are consistently the most likely teams to play for Olympic ice hockey gold with the Canadian men and the American women holding the edge in those competitions.
There is a lot more to curling than appears – stay with me here – not the least of which is the ice-making process itself. The most important part of this complex process is the pebbling of the ice, where water droplets are spread on the top layer. These droplets immediately freeze, creating a pebbled surface that generates friction, allowing the stone to curl while sliding.
The sweeping also influences the stone’s path by melting ice pebbles, creating a thin layer of water for the stone to slide on and reducing friction between the stone and ice. The 42-pound stone is made of granite, cut only from Ailsa Craig, an uninhabited volcanic island off the west coast of Scotland. The Scots, of course, are the originators of the sport. The island has been the sole source of curling stone material for over 200 years.
The numerous Canadian comedians include: Catherine O’Hara, John Candy, Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Eugene Levy, Martin Short, Rick Moranis, Leslie Nielsen, Howie Mandel, Samantha Bee, Elliot Page, Michael Cera, Norm Macdonald and Tommy Chong of Cheech and … My personal favorites are Dan Aykroyd and Phil Hartman. And guess who: Lorne Michaels, creator of “Saturday Night Live.” What a surprise.
To close: Clarence “Shorty” Jenkins was a famous curling ice-making technician. He was inducted into the Curling Hall of Fame in 2001. How cool that in Canada, you can be in a Hall of Fame for freezing water.
Jim Cross is a retired Fort Lewis College professor and basketball coach living in Durango. Reach him at cross_j@fortlewis.edu.
