La Plata County resident Al Jason, 78, has spent a lifetime caring for others. After his Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis last year, he’s learning how to take care of himself with the support of his son, his wife and the Durango Dementia Coalition.
Al said he was a conscientious objector to the Vietnam War through the 1960s and early ’70s. He met his wife, Meme, in 1967 and they married two years later. Over the course of their marriage, they fostered 45 children – some for weeks at a time and others for several years.
He retired from his 30-year career teaching high school special education in 2002 and traveled the world with Meme. They spent their summers roaming the countryside, parking their trailer beside rivers, lakes and creeks, Meme said. They spent winters traveling abroad, visiting China, Iceland, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand and, most frequently, Indonesia.
In 2017, the couple moved to Benson, Arizona, a tiny town of about 5,000 residents outside Tucson.
Al’s life changed one evening last year when he forgot how to put on his pajamas.
Meme said he kept trying to put his shirt on head-first through the neckline, effectively putting the shirt on upside down, and he couldn’t figure out the proper way to wear it. They were baffled.
Then, Al said, he felt the inclination to play the guitar – a life-long hobby. But when he moved to strum the instrument’s strings, he couldn’t recall how to play any of the 100-some songs he’d learned over his lifetime.
Something was wrong, the couple said, but they didn’t know what. They called their doctor, who initially ruled out dementia.
What is Alzheimer’s disease?
Alzheimer’s disease is the most commonly diagnosed form of dementia, characterized by the decline of cognitive skills starting with memory and, as the disease progresses, affecting language, reasoning and social skills, according to the National Institute on Aging.
People with Alzheimer’s eventually lose the ability to perform simple daily tasks, including eating and walking, the NIA said. Symptoms typically begin to manifest in a patient’s mid-60s.
Alzheimer’s is the seventh leading cause of death in the United States, according to the NIA. Although no cure exists, medications and treatments do.
Sheila Lee, co-facilitator of the Durango Dementia Caregiver Support Group, said dementia patients often require constant supervision after the disease develops past its early stages.
“Dementia doesn’t come on just like, ‘bang.’ This is delirium,” Meme said, recalling her doctor’s early assessment of Al’s health.
Their doctor said Al should have an MRI to be sure, Meme said. He had one, and his neurologist determined he did indeed have dementia – Alzheimer’s to be precise.
After Al’s diagnosis, the couple decided to move to La Plata County to be closer to their son, Ben, who had been trying to convince them to move for some time, she said.
Peering across her living room, which was lit up by Christmas lights and colorful holiday decorations, Meme reminisced about her old home in Benson.
“I had this enormous yard and the cutest little gingerbread house that I had covered with Christmas stuff. And now this is my space,” she said.
Al said people would drive by their home in Benson and stop to admire their decorations.
Newsletter signup
To receive daily or breaking news alerts, visit www.durangoherald.com/newsletter-signup/
Their home wasn’t large or extravagant, but its decorations were the most popular, he said.
Lights and ornaments aren’t the only thing decorating the family’s kitchen and living room. Small notes are posted here and there reminding Al to make sure the freezer door is closed, stove burners are off, and how to reboot a laptop when it freezes or stops working.
“If TV won’t go to Hulu programs (says we’re working on it), first try unplugging both cords + turn back on,” one note written in red and yellow marker read. “If that doesn’t work, try putting in password.”
A poster near a door lists items to remember when leaving the house: cane, book, phone, wallet, walker, glasses, grocery lists, hearing aid, shopping bags, handicap placard – among others.
Meme said she posted the reminders for Al, but she occasionally benefits from them herself.
“I’m in the mild stage as far as I know,” Al said of his Alzheimer’s. “To me, what it means is I forget stuff that’s pretty minor, usually, and current. My long-term memory is still sharp as a tack.”
Al enjoys reading and word games, playing guitar and thinking about his children who he said he and Meme raised with love. He is forgetful sometimes, but he remembers his kids, recognizes his wife and hasn’t forgotten anything major, he said.
In educating themselves about how his Alzheimer’s could progress, Al and Meme read a book written by a man with Alzheimer’s. The book was “very lucid,” Al said, and its author wrote about how he’d sometimes fail to remember who his wife was.
He said he’s on medication, and from the research he’s done and the experts he’s spoken with, it could be years before his mind seriously deteriorates.
“It could be years, longer – I mean, maybe a decade – before I start really going bonkers,” he said.
He said he hasn’t shied away from telling people about his diagnosis. He’s been met with disbelief, but he insists.
“Somebody would say, ‘Oh, you don’t have this.’ And I said, ‘Oh, but I do,’” he said. “I’m the only one in my own head. The process that I’m going through, I share with everybody and let them know, ‘Hey, take my word for it. This happened.’”
He said he has begun recording his guitar sessions to preserve his music and to remind himself how to play. Not trusting his memory, he has a notebook full of lyrics and tablatures he reads as he plays. Meme finds the songs online and handwrites them into his notebook.
He has recorded about 50 songs out of 100 or more so far, Meme said.
“I don’t attempt to remember the lyrics,” Al said.
He said he learned how to play the guitar by ear when he was young, and if he doesn’t like the way a song is going, it’s easy to transpose the melody into a different key. He’ll fiddle with it until he finds something he likes.
Some of his favorite songs to play are “Abilene” by George Hamilton IV and “Angel From Montgomery” by John Prine, Meme said.
She said she and Al also journal regularly. They enjoy going to the Sky Ute Casino in Ignacio, and as they’re eating lunch, they will jot down memories of their adventures together.
She said if Al does forget something, she hopes reading his own recount of it – or Meme reading it to him – could trigger his memory.
“Maybe I’m writing so I have something that verifies that I did all this crap,” Al said, adding he and Meme have journaled all their lives.
The couple receives a $1,000 stipend from the Durango Dementia Coalition. They attend a Memory Cafe at St. Mark’s Episcopal Church in Durango and a support group for people recently diagnosed with dementia and their caregivers.
Meme said the coalition is a great place to connect with resources, but transportation has been a consistent hurdle.
For now, Al can still drive, although he has set his own boundaries – he won’t drive with kids or grandkids in the car.
“Is somebody going to tell me when I can’t do it anymore? I hope so,” he said.
On Sept. 22, he signed a statement committing not to drive when Meme and his son decide he is no longer fit to do so.
“When Ben and Meme both decide it is no longer safe for me to drive, I agree to give up driving,” the note reads.
Al is optimistic despite his diagnosis. He said he could very well die of some other cause before his Alzheimer’s becomes a serious issue. Picking up a Bible, he said he is a believer.
“My faith is firm, and I believe that everybody will get the same chance I did, whether it’s after they die or whatever, to make that commitment,” he said.
In this series
Today: How one family is dealing with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and preparing for what may come.
Wednesday: Caregivers in La Plata County help patients and families cope with exhaustion and frustrations. But they need help, too.
Friday: The Durango Dementia Coalition connects the dots between rural services and resources patients are otherwise left to discover on their own.
Al and Meme looked after Meme’s mother who was diagnosed with dementia in her 90s. They attended support groups back then, and Al said he remembers meeting couples whose family members had much more severe cases than Meme’s mother did.
“I was aware this could have been a way lot worse,” Al said.
He is planning a summer cruise to Norway with his children – what could be his last big family outing, he said.
When Al received his diagnosis last year, he and some of his children spent Christmas at his former home in Benson. He said they talked about how most future family gatherings would require the children to come to him.
“We’ve had a fantastic life, so we can’t have any regrets,” Meme said.
Offhand, she bemoaned how busy her children’s busy lives have become.
“I’d much rather (Al) have Alzheimer’s than lose him,” she said.
The Durango Dementia Coalition was founded in 2022 by Pat Demarest. She said the organization started as a grassroots effort to improve care and services for dementia patients in La Plata County.
Last year, the coalition merged with the nonprofit Southwest Colorado Respite Resource, whose mission was to provide respite resources, she said.
“I lost my husband Oct. 5 to this dreaded disease,” Demarest said.
She said she moved away from Durango in 2022 because of losing family support, but the Durango Dementia Coalition has continued and she remains involved from afar thanks to modern technology.
There is a wealth of resources out there for people experiencing dementia, she said. The coalition just needs to get the word out.
cburney@durangoherald.com
About this series
Dementia is a disease that cripples the mind by eroding cognitive functions such as memory, language and social skills. Over time, it warps a person’s personality and takes away his or her independence, impacting one’s ability to perform even simple daily tasks.
Alzheimer’s disease alone – the most common type of dementia – affects about 1,100 people in La Plata County and more than 7 million Americans across the country.
Dementia imposes significant physical and financial burdens on families across La Plata County. Though there is no cure for dementia of any kind, patients and their caregivers can live more comfortably with medication and certain lifestyle changes.
In this series, we visit those afflicted, tell stories of family members who endure the long goodbye, and examine the efforts of caregivers and support groups as they shepherd patients and loved ones into the fog.
