Let’s play the word association game: Nursing home.
For many of the 77% of Americans over 50 who say they want to remain in their homes as they age nursing homes are synonymous with every worst part of growing old: the loss of freedom, autonomy and one’s purpose in the world, said Martha Mason, program instructor at Durango/La Plata County Senior Center.
Mason said almost no one envisions spending their sunset years in a nursing home,and therefore most seniors and older adults avoid talking, or even thinking about the topic. Not having a plan for aging in place, however, only increases one’s likelihood of landing in a nursing home, sooner rather than later, she said.
“People don’t like to think about aging and they don’t want to prepare,” Mason said. “But they should, and that’s what I teach – how you can live safely and fully at home as you’re aging.”
During her program at the Senior Center, “How to stay out of a nursing home” earlier this month, she instructed older La Plata County residents on the lowest cost and least time-restrictive renovations they can make to their homes to age gracefully inside them.
Mason said a major concern for all seniors should be mobility. Consider if sleeping in a second-story bedroom will still be feasible a decade from now. Is a stair lift in order? Replacing slippery tile floors, removing throw rugs that shift under foot, getting a walk-in-shower and installing grab bars are all ways to prevent bone-breaking falls that frequently land seniors in nursing homes.
She said another point those in their 50s and 60s might want to consider is, “Will I still be able to use this home fixture in my 70s and 80s?” Think sink faucets, cabinet handles, light switches and the like. These things may be easy to reach or use now, but consider if they would be accessible to someone in a wheelchair or with Parkinson’s disease? Mason said seniors should consider how their current conditions could progress in the future, and what new conditions may arise.
She also had seniors ask themselves, “What makes life worth living for me?”
Maintaining the ability to do things one loves is just as important to keeping seniors out of nursing homes as maintaining their ability to feed and clean themselves, Mason said. Because of the isolation seniors often experience, she said some seniors end up in nursing homes because they have mentally lost the ability to care for themselves long before losing it physically.
Liza Tregillus, a member of the Community Health Action Coalition, said family members of seniors may want to begin preparing their elderly relatives to age in place, because the sooner someone must enter a nursing home the more it can impact the entire families’ finances.
“My dad had six kids and in the end none of us inherited anything,” Tregillus said. “If these boomers age and end up in nursing homes that’s where their money goes, you’re not going to see any of it.”
Recently, Tregillus has advocated another alternative to nursing homes for which Mason supports: an app called HomeShare Online, which matches potential housemates like a dating app.
Tregillus said she has helped multiple seniors make living arrangements with potential new housemates, which included keeping seniors company to giving them rides to appointments and other kinds of care.
These kinds of alternative living arrangements can help seniors save money, alleviate isolation and stay out of nursing homes longer, Tregillus and Mason said.
In societies throughout history, most people lived in multigenerational households with the expectation their children will care for them as they age. However, the transition toward predominantly living in nuclear families over a few generations upended that system. Mason said the alternative living arrangements HomeShare Online promotes help bridge that gap, which lands so many seniors in nursing homes.
Lynn Tanner, 66, a regular attendee of Mason’s programming at the Senior Center, is illustrative of the issue. Tanner is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which hasn’t robbed her of her sight or ability to walk, but could continue to progress as she ages. She raised three children in Colorado, but today they all live out of state.
She said her desire to stay out of a nursing home stemmed from watching her mother in one.
“I remember going and nobody cared for her like a family member,” Tanner said. “Seeing how the people work there, they just come to get a paycheck.”
Tanner said what makes her life worth living is the exercise classes for MS patients and interacting with the seniors she teaches at the Durango Community Recreation Center. She can drive herself to classes or have her husband give her a ride, but she said Mason’s program helped her realize she needs a contingency plan to stay active and social in case one day both of those options cease to be viable.
Mason is quick to insist she is not anti-nursing homes, per se, and that she recognizes most nursing home staff members try their best despite being chronically understaffed and underfunded.
She doesn’t know what an alternative to nursing homes should be, but she knows how to help 77% of Americans over 50 avoid a fate some fear worse than death: “So much about being safe in a community depends on how many people love you that are not paid to be there.”
