LGBTQ students find support within community

Many of Charlie Stein’s friends who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer have attempted suicide or considered it.

Those feelings and attempts are not uncommon. A 2016 study found almost 30 percent of gay, lesbian and bisexual high school students surveyed across 25 states had attempted suicide in the past 12 months, while only 6.4 percent of the heterosexual students had attempted suicide, according to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report.

As a transgender teenager, Charlie is a member of an even higher-risk group for suicide, but he has never battled those thoughts.

“My perspective on it was, I’m going to do this thing and I don’t care who tries to stop me. ... It was, I’m not going to live any other way, but it was also never, I don’t want to live anymore,” he said.

Charlie, 17, found support among his family and online. A supportive family dramatically reduces a transgender person’s likelihood they will attempt suicide.

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey found that 54 percent of transgender people in unsupportive families had attempted suicide, while 37 percent of those in supportive families had attempted suicide.

Charlie also connected with his peers in the LGBTQ+ community at Four Corners Rainbow Youth Center in Durango.

“I could walk up to someone in the community, the LGBTQ+ community, and we would just automatically connect because we share that experience,” said Stein, a senior at Animas High School.

The Rainbow Youth Center and Gender and Sexuality Resource Center at Fort Lewis College fill similar roles by connecting members of the LGBTQ+ community with caring peers and adults, which can lower their risk for suicide.

The Rainbow Youth Center was founded three years ago by Jennifer Stucka-Benally and Sarah St. John, who were working in Durango School District 9-R schools as counselors and found many youths were coming out to them. They were joined early on by Rowan Blaisdell, a co-director and co-founder of the center.

They held focus groups to determine what the students needed.

Students in those groups unanimously said they needed a safe place to go outside school that would be free from bullying, harassment and discrimination, said Stucka-Benally, co-director of the center.

Since then, the center has created a sense of belonging and normalcy for those who may not be accepted at home and may feel uncertain about future discrimination they could face, Stucka-Benally said.

The center also connects students with caring adults, and that can help reduce their risk of suicide, Blaisdell said.

“It’s a massive problem, but there is a solution, and that’s to make sure that you’re seeing those kids that are around you and accepting them for whoever they say that they are and not questioning it,” he said.

The first program the center started was a drop-in night on Mondays for teens to play games, do art projects and hear speakers from the community.

The center also offers Tea Time for teens who identify as transgender, gender-nonbinary and gender fluid, to discuss issues they might face, such as being called by the wrong name or pronoun, Stucka-Benally said.

“Can you imagine somebody just walking up to you and using a totally different name or pronoun all the time? It would feel like nobody is even seeing you for who you are,” she said.

This year, the center started a playgroup for nonbinary youths from 5 to 11 years old and a support group for parents of nonbinary children that meets at the same time.

The group was inspired by parents of transgender youths who requested support from the center.

In some cases, young children can face gender dysphoria because of the disconnect between the gender identity on the inside and how other people are perceiving them. These feelings can lead to self-harm, self-mutilation and suicidal ideas at a young age, Blaisdell said.

At the playgroup, children leave these feelings behind, Stucka-Benally said.

“They get to just be kids with each other without any fear or concern that they’re going to be discriminated against, oppressed, that some kind of violence is going to happen to them,” she said.

The center draws teens, children and parents from across the region. But for teens who cannot get to the center, the staff will pair teens with trained mentors, and the pair will spend at least three hours a month together, Stucka-Benally said.

The Gender and Sexuality Resource Center at FLC, known as the G-Spot, also offers a safe space for everyone to socialize, said Nancy Stoffer, coordinator of the center.

“The queer culture is multidimensional – there are musicians and athletes and politicians and parents. It’s just one part of one’s life, and yet it is an important part,” Stoffer said.

The center holds weekly Teas at the G, which can draw between eight and 20 students to discuss a variety of topics, such as coming-out stories, the biology of the brain and the history of queer art.

About half the students who visit the G-Spot are allies, which helps confirm to LGBTQ+ students that they are going to be accepted by others regardless of their orientation, Stoffer said. Faculty members also hold office hours at the G, she said.

About 140 faculty and staff across the campus have participated in a Safe Zone training, so they know how to provide LGBTQ+ students resources and support if they need help. Those with training have stickers in their offices, which can help students feel less lonely, she said.

“They may never bring it up, but just knowing that this person is on their side is going to make a difference,” she said.