’Twas the night before Christmas and in front of the house, The Safety Geek played holiday tunes by Alison Krause. He had turned down the volume really quite low to protect his hearing while he shoveled the snow. He wanted to make sure the sidewalk was clear to prevent any falls when his guests might appear.
He was bundled up warm in layers of wool so as not to catch cold like a jolly old fool. He pondered his hygiene for the party that night and felt wise that he’d placed hand sanitizer in sight. “If my guests have the snuffles, or they cough or they sneeze, I hope that they’ll use it to stop spread of disease.”
He pondered the snow on his roof that was thick, which he thought safe to remove with a rake on a stick. He disapproved of his neighbor who shoveled the snow from the top of the roof where he might fall below. “He’s not being safe,” he thought to himself, then remembered the work of the jolly old elf.
“I bet Santa is careful when he lands on the roof, tying down himself and reindeer on the hoof.”
Then he considered the safety of all Santa’s toys, which he brings Christmas night for girls and boys. “I hope all the elves consider their duty to kids’ safety before Santa delivers the booty.”
He thought of the appropriate age for toys brought by the jolly old sage.
“I’m certain he won’t bring toys with small parts for toddlers to play with or pursue the arts. When toys with small things start to get broke, those little pieces can cause kids to choke. I hope Santa considers the right age for the toys before delivering them to good girls and boys.”
He shuddered considering the bikes and snowboards Santa would deliver the children in hoards. “Safety equipment,” he thought to himself, “should be the first thought of the jolly old elf.”
He shouldn’t deliver a skate or a bike without considering helmets the children might like.
He imagined children skating off little snow mesas without first protecting their tiny cabezas. He shuddered to think what might happen to boys without proper safety equipment for toys.
Then his thoughts turned to what his guests might think if he asked them not to have too much drink. “I hope they’ll designate someone to drive who’s sober enough to keep them alive. The driver mustn’t drink any alcohol if he wishes to preserve the life of them all.”
I heard The Safety Geek say as he disappeared from sight, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a safe night.”
Dr. Matthew A. Clark is a board-certified physician in internal medicine and pediatrics practicing at the Ute Mountain Health Center in Towaoc.
