DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for three years and share custody of our 10-year-old daughter, who lives with me full time. Her father lives out of state and sees her during the summer months.
Last year my daughter had an “I’ll show you mine, you show me yours” incident with a friend at school, and my ex and I decided they shouldn’t hang out after school alone anymore. A year has gone by and, because they’re in the same social circle at school, my ex refuses to let her attend events with the friend, e.g., birthdays, sleepovers, etc., even though there’s always adult supervision.
It makes me sad to see her miss out, and I understand that the incident happens at that age. What can I do? Since she does not live with him, can I overrule? – I’ll Show You Mine
DEAR I’LL SHOW YOU MINE: I’m sorry your ex-husband doesn’t understand that sexual curiosity tends to start at that age. You cannot dictate the rules in his household. However, while your daughter is living with you during the winter months, he won’t be able to overrule your decisions.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 43-year-old woman who is trying to win back my high school sweetheart. He contacted me through Facebook seven years ago, and we’ve been talking off and on ever since.
I have never gotten over him, but he had two bad relationships in the past and says he isn’t ready for another one yet. What can I do to let him know I haven’t gotten over him since high school and that I’d love to try again?
Our relationship ended because my parents thought I was too young to have a boyfriend. I was 15 and he was 17. He says he would love to try again “one day” – just not now. How can I let him know: “Hey, I’m still here, and I want a second chance” without scaring him away? – High School Sweetheart in Florida
DEAR SWEETHEART: He knows you are “still here” and want a second chance. Because he isn’t ready for romance with you right now, the status quo could last indefinitely. You devoted seven years trying to sway him. It’s time for you to move on. How he reacts as you begin to disengage will let you know if you have made the right decision.
DEAR ABBY: Since the last presidential election our oldest son has stopped communicating with us. He would text us, but his texts were so disrespectful and hurtful we had to block him from our phones. He’s a grown man and we love him. What should we do? – Disappointed Parents
DEAR PARENTS: The last presidential election has proved to be so divisive that it has ended friendships and caused rifts in some families. Blocking your son from your phones was a mistake. It would have been better if you told him you prefer not to discuss politics via text message.
Until both sides can listen respectfully, healing and understanding will not be possible. Unblock your phone and let your son know that he hurt your feelings, which is why you did it.
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
