Dear Action Line: I just finished the annual task of applying the new year decal on my vehicle license plate. As usual, I needed to decide if I would comply with the instruction: “Removal of previous decal is required.” Usually, I briefly try to get the old sticker off, but end up just washing and drying the old sticker and stacking on the new one. This year, I was persistent. With a heat gun and single-edge razor blade I removed the old stickers ... but, alas, not without bubbling the plastic plate frame. I find it humorous the instruction sheet details removal of the new decal from the paper: “Remove new decal by bending paper along dotted line. Lift edge of decal and slowly peel.” No clues, however, on removing the old sticker. I wonder, what is the easiest way to take off the old decal? And, what is the penalty if one fails to do this? – Stuck on Removal
Dear Stuck: OK, that was one of the longest questions ever. But to pass on the full angst of this problem, that seemed necessary.
Whom to ask for help with this sticker situation? Without further adieu – oops, that should be further ado – let’s turn to Tiffany Lee, La Plata County’s clerk and recorder since 2010.
“It makes me smile, as we get asked about it a lot, and I can completely understand (the reader’s) frustration,” Lee began.
To ease the building tension among those of us scofflaws who may not, um, always take the expired stickers off, Lee assured us that we will probably not be going to jail for our plate peccadilloes.
“We have never heard of law enforcement ever giving citations, and I do not know what the penalty would be if they did,” she said.
The common understanding about why the law was even created is because it’s easier to steal a sticker if it’s laid atop another sticker. If it’s affixed directly to the plate, it’s harder to remove and therefore harder to steal, Lee said.
“The volume of stickers that get stolen is surprisingly high,” she said.
The Clerk and Recorder’s Office recommends using a razor blade to remove the old sticker.
“I personally use a product such as Goo Gone if I can’t remove it completely with a razor blade,” Lee said.
Whatever you affix it to – bare plate or the common but illegal method of slapping it on the old sticker – make sure the surface is clean.
“We have customers that immediately leave our office and put their stickers on in the parking lot without cleaning the surface,” Lee said. “Many times they end up not sticking properly and they have to get a replacement.
“I hope this info helps a little with a frustrating task we can all relate to.”
Dear Action Line: Does anyone actually read the Action Line? – Not Too Interested
Dear Not Too: Thanks for your insightful question.
The answer is “NO.”
With a small caveat. Action Line hands a rough draft to his wife, traditionally called Mrs. Action Line, who then gives it back in a couple of hours or days. She claims to read it, but maybe she just spell-checks it?
Then there are the Herald editors. Spell-check, spell-check, print it, post it!
At this point, no one has read Action Line.
Analytics show something a bit different when it goes online. These statistics are from Deputy Editor Shane Benjamin, who has an obvious stake in this answer. He wants you to think people are reading the Herald. And it’s possible he just wants Action Line to feel needed:
“Action Line had 51,623 pageviews with an average of 2 minutes and 54 seconds time on site for each pageview in 2021,” Benjamin reported after hitting some magic keys somewhere. “A quick and rough calculation shows that is about 149,706 minutes, or 2,495 hours, or 104 days TOS in 2021. (Check my math!)”
This sounds impressive, but does anyone understand what TOS even means? Action Line Googled it, and believes it’s either “Terms of Service” or “Tales of Symphonia,” the latter of which is apparently a fun computer game albeit with bad graphics.
“Also,” Benjamin continued, “it should be noted that these are just online metrics. There is no way to account for how many people read Action Line in print or how long they spend reading it.”
This all sounds like rubbish. Computer stuff and science that no one really understands, so can we really believe that?
Again, no. Science is so passé, so 1900s.
So, despite “evidence” to the contrary, Action Line is still firmly in the “Not Too Interested” camp. If anyone was actually reading, the pressure to be witty and funny would be too great a burden anyway, and the weight of that responsibility would certainly crush a person, like it does certain Olympic skiers and skaters.
Final answer: Does anyone read the Action Line?
No.
Email questions and suggestions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You still here? It’s over. Go home!
