Dear Action Line: The walls are built, the court is paved, and it’s on city property unused for eight years. The only thing the city has to do is put up a net, poles, paint lines and guess what? A pickleball court for kids. The location? Behind north City Market at the old recycle drop-off. Might not be perfect and level, but no big deal. Heck, when I was a kid we put a hoop on a tree and had dirt to play basketball on. – The Gherkin Man

Dear Gherkin: Oh, kids. They just don’t appreciate the old days when we played tennis without nets, played catch without a ball, skipped rope with barbed wire and played hockey without ice. Just made us tougher.

For what could this asphalted piece of real estate be used? A really small dog park for really small dogs? More City Market parking? A river put-in? – wondered Antonio, who happened by and caught Action Line taking a photo of it.

Is there a good use for this space? Probably. But it won’t be a pickleball court.

Although pretty sure of the answer, Action Line contacted Durango Parks and Recreation Director Ture Nycum to see what he’d say, and used the opportunity to get an update on the pickleball courts planned for Schneider Park. At one point it was thought they might be ready this summer.

“We are nearing final design on the pickleball courts at Schneider Park and hope to have that out to bid in the next two to four weeks for a contractor,” Nycum said March 21. (Action Line gets a little backed up sometimes.) “A July completion would be optimistic. If we successfully hire a contractor to construct our courts, we would be looking at a fall timeframe.”

The city has $800,000 budgeted for the Schneider pickleball courts, and of course hopes to get bids within that amount, Nycum said.

So it’s full paddle ahead on the Schneider courts. Not so much on the Gherkin man’s plan for the kids. He’s concerned that youngsters will be elbowed out by eager adults at the Schneider courts. As Cat Stevens might ask, “Where do the children play?”

“Regarding pickleball behind the north City Market, that area is owned by the city but it is not conducive to installing a court there,” Nycum said. “The site is uneven and is currently asphalt and there would be a pretty significant investment to level the area and install a playable surface for one court at that location.

“We do appreciate the community providing suggestions for parks and recreation amenities and locations. But not all work out.”

What to do with this spot. … Seems like the perfect place to use as part of a river trail pedestrian bridge, one that would connect to both the other side of the river and the other side of 32nd Street. It would have to be built high as a skyscraper, but no one would object. Why didn’t anyone ever think of that? As it is now, we’ll have to detour around the pedestrian underpass at 32nd when everything floods in a few weeks.

The scenery’s not bad and it’s close to trails and rafting. And it’s really quiet, other than those extremely rare times when City Market is crowded or there’s lorry loads on 32nd Street or a cosmic train blasting its whistle or a jumbo plane overhead. Assuming no one wants to turn this into a much-needed homeless camping center, maybe it would make an idyllic glamping spot?

The fashion debate continues:

One more response in the ongoing Action Line yoga pants debate – an issue that is capturing the heart and soul of the argument over what, indeed, it means to be a true Durangoan. This from John:

“I fear ‘Shameless’ may be clueless about ‘true Durangotang’ closets. What need for spares of any of the items identified? With apologies to the late, great Fibber McGee, closets are to be fully stuffed with overused outdoor gear too dear to be discarded.”

This sent Action Line excitedly scurrying to the library to look up Fibber McGee. Then scurrying back home after realizing that, oftentimes these days, information such as this is available from the modern encyclopedia called the internet. You all should try it.

“Fibber McGee and Molly” was a popular radio show back in the ’30s, ’40s and ’50s. The husband-wife duo also did some films. Their main hall closet in the community of Wistful Vista was tightly packed. Ah, the Great Depression and World War II era. Gosh, those were the days.

Email questions and suggestions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. For a good, old-time chuckle, Google “Fibber McGee & Molly The Hall Closet” and watch the video.