The return to Mountain Standard Time with its early evenings and the cooler temperatures and freezing nights have turned us all more indoors. It’s time for indoor projects, routines and it’s the more introspective time of the year.
For children, it’s been back to school for a while now, but I think we’ve all flirted with those last bike rides, hikes and, of course, soccer games. The changing of the seasons signals a time for kids to switch from the freedom of late summer evenings outdoors, vacations with the family and a looser way of going through their days. Winter seems like a more structured time, to go to school, work and play before it gets dark. It’s sort of beautiful, really, to ebb and flow between light and dark, cold and warm, freedom and structure, and laziness and accomplishment.
Routines are good for kids. They help us all get through things that need to be done and can also build family bonds. Routines let our kids know what’s important to us, which can strengthen beliefs and values and build a sense of belonging to a family.
Kids don’t have much control in their lives; good routines can give them a sense of organization, stability and comfort. That, in turn, can help develop better behavior and some sense of personal power.
However, knowing the structure is there and the parents are being parents allows children to feel safe and lets them be kids.
Maintaining normal daily routines as much as possible can make it easier for kids to deal with stressful events – birth of a sibling, divorce, illness or death of a family member, or a move to a new city. The safety nets are there for them.
There’s another benefit to routines, that of a sense of practice.
Practice is something we choose to do on a regular basis, not necessarily with a goal or specific outcome; the process is to do it because we do it. We practice things knowing we’ll never be the famous musician or the Olympic athlete. We show up whether we want to or not.
For a child, this could mean joining the soccer or swim team, setting the table for dinner each night, being responsible for a clean room, practicing the violin, etc. What practice builds is a true confidence that we can’t get from outwardly things. The confidence that comes for the child is in doing it over and over. She does what she says she is going to do. No kudos, no praise, no criticism.
Practices for kids should remain simple, realistic and achievable.
When resistance comes, as it will, it’s a chance for us, both parent and child, to look at commitment and determination. Does the child overcome and get back on track, or quit altogether? Does the practice need to change to be more suitable? Perhaps a simple journal or check-off list can keep it going more smoothly. These are big issues that when overcome can build a strong foundation and grounding for life.
Wintertime is a good time for all of us to try one or two of these.
My practice centers on health and well-being. Yours could be playing more with your kids or getting to bed earlier or eating more healthfully. And, who knows what interesting practices kids may want to start?
Martha McClellan has been an early care child educator, director and administrator for 36 years. She currently has an early childhood consulting business, supporting child care centers and families. Reach her at mmm@bresnan.net.
