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Riding along in the litter

Tom James

I was working my dun horse the other day, just easin’ along down the county road. You would be amazed at all that you can see on the ground from the back of a horse.

Empty snuff cans. Cigarette butts. Old wire from replaced fence lines and an occasional tire.

This day I saw something that just tickled the heck out of me. Two big paper coffee cups from one of the “fancy” coffee houses.

There they were, in all their “made from 100% recycled paper from Indonesia” glory, on the roadside as trash.

I’ll leave the coffee house nameless because it’s not their fault that some of their customers are hillbillies. And I don’t want to be the guy that sets off the three-day media frenzy about “Stardoodle’s” or “Delaware Jacks’” involvement in a litter scandal.

I can see it though – the county road lined with news vans from all the alphabet networks and the one named after the animal.

Men and women all dressed in Eddie Bauer dungarees​ with serious looks on their faces, interviewing locals and “experts” on litter.

Statements read by well-dressed, serious looking spokespeople for the companies,stating that while “shareholders are proud of the steady profit increases, as one, they abhor and say no to wanton littering of any kind.”

Yep, I can see it. Then three days later they’re all gone off to the next catastrophe, leaving behind all their three-day trash for old Dunny and me to look at as we ride.

As Sheryl Crow sings,“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad ...”

Tom James was riding horses before he could walk. He currently hangs his hat in Ignacio. Reach him at outlivedthemallsofar@gmail.com.

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