In the April 25 paper, there was an interesting item in the Local Briefs. The headline read: “Road Stripping To Take Place in County.” Isn’t it a bit cold for these strippers? Also, are the strippers male or female? Either way, aren’t there enough distracted drivers without having exotic dancers along our county roads? – Ann D.
You might say La Plata County’s stripping plans are under wraps – because no one could say where and when the strippers would be dancing or if there were, in fact, strippers on the road and bridge payroll.
So let’s lay bare the facts. Report the naked truth. And get to bottom of a topless situation.
Sorry, voyeurs. Put your dollar bills away. The headline should have read “striping” and not “stripping.”
That was confirmed by our friend Doyle Villers, the county’s road maintenance supervisor.
“La Plata County’s official comment is that there are no ‘strippers’ – only fully clothed ‘stripers,’ ” he said with a laugh.
And by fully clothed, he added stripers will have on either an orange or fluorescent yellow safety vests.
People are welcome to watch the next road-striping performance, but it won’t be all that exciting, Doyle said. After all, we’re talking about painting stripes on the road. But at least there is no two-drink minimum.
The county’s road stripers are currently helping with the paving project on East Animas Road (County Road 250) and County Road 251 at 32nd Street. So instead of taking it off, they are putting it on – in the form of a 2-inch overlay of asphalt.
And after the asphalt cures, striping will take place.
What’s going on with Memorial Park by the 29th Street put-in? It was supposed to be open for some use by the end of this month. However, the orange fencing remains. Unless someone pulls something out of a magic hat, no way will it be open that soon. Help! I miss my local park – and now that the boating season has started, traffic and crowding at the 33rd Street put-in will be worse than ever! Sign me: Frustrated and Parkless in Animas City
Action Line has some good news. The 29th Street river put-in is actually open since a couple of days ago.
But “open” is a relative term. Sure, you can access the river, but the parking lot remains a construction staging area, with heavy equipment, pipe storage, sheds and whatnot.
The Memorial Park situation, like all things the city touches, turns into a complicated project with a lot of moving parts.
Not only is it about an additional river access for rafters, it’s a new Animas River Trail section redesign and rebuild – a park renovation with new trees and street and intersection reconstruction with bulb-outs to slow down the parade of clueless morons who think East Third Avenue is a drag strip.
So now all the numbskulls are detoured right past Action Line’s house, which is annoying. (The traffic, not the house.)
And then there’s the fact that so many drivers fail to understand the concept of a large red octagon sign that says, “STOP.”
Maybe they’re busy updating their Facebook status: “Going to court-ordered driver safety class but running late so gotta hurry. Darn detours.”
Anyway, it looks like the coming weeks will be a walk in the park. This week’s concrete work wraps up and then landscaping begins, according to our friend Cathy Metz, the city’s director of parks and recreation.
She also promised that very soon, the now torn-up East Third will get new asphalt.
Oh, and then there will be road striping – just in time for peak raft season and all the river users who park their vehicles start taking off their clothes and head to the river.
So it looks like that Local Brief headline wasn’t a typo after all. There is “road stripping” taking place.
Just not on county roads but along an Animas City boulevard.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if the only tubers you want to deal with are the ones from the produce aisle.
