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Sheriff’s patrol vehicles tinted but not tainted

I’ve noticed the La Plata County Sheriff’s Department’s new SUVs have window tints that elevate the officers to the status of the Secret Service. It appears the tint exceeds the Colorado law limiting window tint to allow 27 percent of the light in. Do they really need to appear so badass? – Anonymous, please

Action Line isn’t convinced that window tinting itself is all that intimidating.

For instance, Mrs. Action Line’s sporty Buick has tinted windows. When she drives down the street, people smile and wave.

Mrs. Action Line has that effect on people. That’s why we love her so much.

By the way, Mrs. Action Line just celebrated a birthday, so be sure to wish her a happy 32nd-ish.

Meanwhile, as Action Line was pondering possible puns, an interesting question came up.

Why is “tint” pronounced with a “soft” i like “mint” or “lint” while the word “pint” is pronounced with a “hard” i? Ay, yi, yi!

Then Mrs. Action Line pointed out that “bomb,” “comb” and “tomb” have different “o” sounds.

It’s laughable phonetic falderal. (Did you notice the “f” sound in those last three words are spelled “gh,” “ph” and “f” respectively?)

All of which has nothing to do with tinted windows. So let’s shed some light on this shady subject.

After all, the Sheriff’s Office deals with a lot of shady subjects.

According to our good friend Dan Bender, the department’s spokesman, all of the sheriff’s vehicles are factory tinted, so there are not tainted by Secret Service-style mirrored add-ons.

Tinting has a lot to do with power, he said. But it’s not what you think.

“Our patrol cars are basically rolling offices with electronic equipment such as computers, communications and cameras – all of which are susceptible to heat damage,” Dan pointed out.

“The window tinting helps keep the vehicles cooler while also protecting from nighttime glare.”

Here’s an interesting result of law enforcement having “rolling offices”: Deputies don’t turn off their vehicles during a stop.

“Electronics still need to be working when the vehicle is not running,” Dan said. “It’s a huge drain on the battery. ‘Also, if we were to shut off the electronics, every device would need time to reboot – that’s not good in an emergency.”

We all know that the Sheriff’s Office is committed to transparency. Who knew it would be on the topic of tinted windows?

•••

The Mea Culpa Mailbox had two diametrically opposite asides to the recent column about the trespassing person dropping off dog poop bags in a private recycling bin and dismissing it as, “Oh well … it’s Durango!”

* Amber Turley of Healthy Hounds and Fat Cats sent an awesome email about the “Doo the Right Thing Durango, CO” Facebook group.

“We’re calling all dog owners to like and follow our page as a ‘commitment’ to clean up their dog’s waste,” she writes.

“We have been doing a weekly photo contest on the page in hopes to get people to pick up MORE! We have been offering a weekly prize of many different things: free day care, baths, treats, toys, etc.”

* A discouraging dispatch came from an anonymous Tupperware Heights couple who were remodeling their bathroom and put the well-scrubbed commode out on the curb during a recent Spring Cleanup.

“True story!” they write. “Unfortunately, we placed it out a little early. After walking the dog, I glanced over and thought to myself, ‘I’m sure this WAS cleaner.’”

Yup. A person used the facilities that night.

Let’s make it our No. 1 and No. 2 priorities to curb curbside churlishness.

“Oh well ... it’s Durango!” indeed.

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if road dust is how you tint your windows.