Going to work every morning, I drive down North College Drive and have to stop at the light on Florida Road across from JBo’s for a left turn. That light takes 45 minutes to change. OK, maybe only two, but my friend said she listened to a song from start to finish before the light changed. What’s with the delay? Is the city trying to teach me patience? It’s not working – Impatient Lynn
If the city wanted to teach patience, it would require every resident to attend City Council meetings.
Or it would force people to watch the Durango Government Television for hours on end, using that creepy non-blink eye device from the film “A Clockwork Orange.”
You remember that?
We don’t mean “A Clockwork Orange.” We’re talking about DGOV. Does anyone remember that City Span 10 changed its name to DGOV?
Apparently, this happened last October. The event was widely announced on City Span 10, thus explaining why no one knows about it.
What precipitated the City Span 10/DGOV switcheroo? Back in the day, City Span 10 was available on in-town cable television.
But the city struck a deal late last year so that its lugubrious confabulations could be broadcast over the air to the hinterlands of La Plata County.
DGOV can now be viewed in Durango and La Plata County on Charter Cable channel 191, and for antenna users, over-the-air on Channel 10.1.
It is also available over-the-air on channel 6.2 in Montezuma, and Dolores counties.
Why would anyone in Montezuma or Dolores counties want to watch the Durango City Council? Maybe they, too, need to learn patience.
Or maybe it’s proof that the city of Durango promotes aversion therapy, Clockwork Orange-style.
But that has nothing to do with the light at JBo’s.
Not surprisingly, the light isn’t gong to be changing, literally and figuratively.
So we have to learn patience.
That means if the light lasts the length of an entire song, we don’t need a new light. We need a new song.
Action Line suggests Led Zepplin’s “Stairway to Heaven.”
With a running time of 8:03, the rock classic will provide a sufficient period for the JBo’s stoplight to cycle through.
The danger, of course, is that “Stairway to Heaven” could become the soundtrack for aversion therapy, much the same way Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony did in “A Clockwork Orange.”
We’ll just have to keep our eyes open to see what happens.
On Tuesday, I looked up at the streetlights downtown and noticed that all the Christmas wreaths were still up. Is the city using Christmas wreaths to decorate for Valentine’s Day, President’s Day or what? It’s tacky. Sign me as Abraham Cupid Washington
Action Line inspected downtown on Tuesday. Sure enough, Christmas wreaths were all over the place, looking quite shabby.
Next day, the ratty wreaths were gone. Dang. Now Action Line can’t tease someone at City Hall about decking the halls post-Groundhog Day.
Since the wreaths came down on Ash Wednesday, is the city giving up yuletide decorations for Lent?
Regardless, your complaint about off-season garlands might prod Action Line to write the next Great American Novel.
It could be inspired by The Grapes of Wrath, a story of downtrodden farmers in Oklahoma and their desperate relocation to the promised land of California in search of work, only to find deplorable housing conditions.
The new version could be a story about upscale farmers-market-goers in California and their capricious relocation to the promised land of Durango in search of leisure, only to find deplorable housing conditions – and some crummy old Christmas decorations hanging everywhere.
It could be called The Gripe of Wreaths.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you tell a lie and chop down a cherry tree today.
