I’ve been running into many families with young children this summer, at Trimble, downtown, at the farmers market, at the river and everywhere. It’s summer! People are all out and about, enjoying the hot days and longer hours of light. Me, too.
The thing I’m noticing is that families are way too busy. One family with a 3-year-old I know spent several hours out in the hot sun at the farmers market, then they all went for a bike ride, then a quick lunch and to the pool, and then they had friends (also with little kids) over for dinner.
This 3-year-old was pushed to his limit and exhausted, resulting in a meltdown and difficult bedtime. There was no downtime all day to just breathe, relax, get grounded and reset his little body. I hear and see many families on this timetable.
I know there is so much to do in Durango in the summer, we want to do it all, and many of our social events revolve around our kids.
Many children are enrolled in day camps or other programs and lessons while parents work. These outings take lots of energy out of a young child. The sun is hot and saps vitality, even with hats and sunglasses. Summer is the time to kick back and enjoy our children, not run them ragged.
Children are naturally tuned into a slower rhythm. They need spaces of time with their own thoughts, ideas and play. Spontaneous activity for a child is the foundation of creativity, initiative, resourcefulness, imagination, decision-making and basic healthy development. Some children never have the chance to develop internal dialog and self-direction.
Children need opportunities to practice reasoning skills, find their own resources and learn to satisfy themselves on a deeper level. It is during these unstructured times that children’s attention can be completely absorbed by their activity. All focus is on their play, and they are said to be in a “flow state.” This flow state brings calmness to the child, lasting as long as she is in this contented place.
Ironically, it is lack of stimulation that facilitates creative play.
Often, a child will internally perceive this as “boredom.” It’s easy to seek structure and organization from parents and teachers – and all too often we jump in too soon and create the child’s activities for him. We need to let him become bored because it is through this transient period of understimulation that the internal world can come alive.
This process is facilitated by solitude, the opportunity to be alone and without too many external stimuli. Sticks become dolls, dolls become queens, and these members of royalty become actors in the child’s play. Rocks become blocks, blocks become walls, and walls become castles. Personal, spontaneous, organic play like this stimulates brain development.
So, take some time this summer to have no plans. Give your children periods of unstructured time to find their own activities, hang out in their rooms or backyards, and put together a more internal world. Try it yourself, too. Summer is the time to do this. If not now, when?
Martha McClellan has been an early care child educator, director and administrator for 36 years. She currently has an early childhood consulting business, supporting child care centers and families. Reach her at mmm@bresnan.net.
