The Green Side of Life

Fourteen out of 15?

Oooo, la, la! Real original.

There were nine Gridiron Green contestants that finished one pick from the perfect Week 12 result.

Was it the Thursday night game?

Was it the previously winless Oakland Raiders hosting the previously tied-for-first-in-the-AFC-West Kansas City Chiefs that tripped up so many Greenies from perfection?

Alas, the Gridiron Guru tried to tell you: It’s a Thursday night game on prime time; of course the Raiders were going to upset the Chiefs for their first win of the season. If I were the kind of prognosticating genius that said I told you so, then now is the time I’d tell you, “I told you so.”

Alas, this humble Guru only went 10-for-15 on Week 12, a modest four guesses off his contemporaries. Instead, this humble Guru wishes to applaud Noah Lopez of Durango for his impressive 31-27 tiebreaker that broke the ice with The Hateful Eight that suddenly slipped through the ice somewhere in Telluride.

Dallas won 31-28, and that one-point-off prediction was good enough to secure Lopez our Week 12 green.

Well played, sir.

Now, onto Week 13, where the footballs blend with the turkeys into a holiday miracle we like to call footkey, or turball.

Either way, enjoy.

Thursday, Nov. 27

Chicago at Detroit (KCNC, KREZ): What’s wrong with the Lions’ offense? 15 points in the last two weeks smells more like trouble than Thanksgiving stuffing. The Bears have won two in a row, make it three. Pick: Bears 24-17. Line: Lions by 7.

Philadelphia at Dallas (KASA): A Cowboys Thanksgiving Day game that means something? Boy, aren’t we lucky. First place is on the line, and Mark Sanchez is airing the ball out, but the fiery Dez Bryant will have his mouth shut by a giant turkey leg after the Cowboys win late again. Pick: Cowboys, 38-23. Line: Dallas by 3.

Seattle at San Francisco (KOBF, KUSA): Jim Harbaugh has to be pretty used to this whole Thanksgiving night game by now. A big-time clash in the NFC West is the perfect football desert, and these two rivals thrill again, with bonus football! Pick: 49ers, 17-14, OT. Line: 49ers by 1.

Sunday, Nov. 30

Tennessee at Houston: Fitzmagic is back in Houston after Ryan Mallett went down with an injury. It could be time for Zach Mettenberger’s first win as an NFL quarterback, but J.J. Watt will teach him a few more lessons this week. Pick: Texans, 21-9. Line: Texans by 6½.

Oakland at St. Louis: Those pesky Rams finally have a matchup that it looks like they should win. They’ve won every other week since an 0-2 start, so look for that trend to continue. Pick: Rams, 24-12. Line: Rams by 6½.

Carolina at Minnesota: Five losses in a row for the quarterback that mimics Superman? Both teams can’t stop the run, and Carolina is awful against the pass. Give the Vikings a home win. Pick: Vikings, 26-17. Line: Vikings by 3.

Washington at Indianapolis (KASA): Colt McCoy back under center to face the Colts isn’t enough for Washington. Chalk up a fourth consecutive loss for the Redskins, while Andrew Luck and the Colts could ride off into the playoffs on a six-game winning streak. Pick: Colts, 45-10. Line: Colts by 10.

Cleveland at Buffalo: Brian Hoyer does enough to make Browns fans cheer and panic all at the same time. The return of Jordan Cameron and Josh Gordon are enough to get the Browns closer to a winning season. Pick: Browns, 16-10. Line: Bills by 2½.

San Diego at Baltimore (KCNC, KREZ): The Chargers always find that mid-season slump and pick it up around Turkey Day. After losing three in a row, Philip Rivers and the Bolts make it a three-game winning streak. Pick: Chargers, 24-21. Line: Ravens by 6.

N.Y. Giants at Jacksonville: Odell Beckham Jr. might only need two fingers to beat the entire Jacksonville Jaguars by himself. Eli Manning throws a few sloppy picks to make it closer than it should be. Pick: Giants, 17-14. Line: Giants by 2½.

Cincinnati at Tampa Bay: AJ Green is getting back into form, and so are the rest of the Bengals. We get a glimpse of one of the best receivers in the game and one of the best young receivers in the game in Mike Evans. Pick: Bengals, 31-17. Line: Bengals by 3½.

New Orleans at Pittsburgh: Nothing scares this Guru more than the Saints on the road, especially after three losses all at home. Ben Roethlisberger flirts with 500 yards passing once more. Pick: Steelers, 35-24. Line: Steelers by 4½.

Arizona at Atlanta: Can Drew Stanton pick it up and help the Cardinals get back to their winning ways? The Falcons have been waiting for one big win all season. Maybe this is the week. Pick: Falcons, 20-17. Line: Cardinals by 2½.

New England at Green Bay (KCNC, KREZ): Games don’t get much bigger than this in late November. The Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field is all the Packers need to get by a surging Patriots team. Pick: Packers, 32-27. Line: Packers by 3.

Denver at Kansas City (KOBF, KUSA; KRSJ 100.5 FM): Riding the momentum from a big comeback win against the Dolphins last week, Peyton Manning and the Broncos get it figured out with a season sweep of the Chiefs, who looked befuddled in Oakland a week ago. Pick: Broncos, 42-35. Line: Broncos by 2.

Monday, Dec. 1

Miami at N.Y. Jets (ESPN): Geno Smith is back at quarterback for the Jets. That’s all the guru needs to know to pick a quality Miami Dolphins defense in a route. Pick: Dolphins, 28-7. Line: Dolphins by 6½.